Disgruntled Teacher

Former High school, now middle school teacher grasping desperately for sanity.

[Disgruntled Teacher @DisgruntledTea2]

As a teacher, I think I failed today by not using this picture on the test over the events that led to the Declaration. #ushistory #imashamed #teaching

[Disgruntled Teacher @DisgruntledTea2]

*While discussing Family tree of Egyptian mythology and the weird incest stuff* Student: No wonder the one on top looks like a person and the rest have... animal heads.”
#middleschoop #mythology #egypt

[Disgruntled Teacher @DisgruntledTea2]

He just rolled over onto me so I had to scoot over, and pinned my braid in the process. Does this happen when we’re both asleep? #sleep #nosleep #helpimstuck

[Disgruntled Teacher @DisgruntledTea2]

I can’t sleep and so I’m on my phone, but I think the light must be keeping my husband from sleeping deeply, because he just went “mm-hmm” very pointedly when I scratched my back, and then asked if I had a wasp nest we forgot to kill. #nosleep #sleeptalk #what

[Disgruntled Teacher @DisgruntledTea2]

I have a student who draws in my room during recess, and always sets up the beanbags in a circle around her. Today her friend was pretending to kick a person in one of the chairs, and Girl 1 deadpanned & said “this is why you have no legs in my book” #8thgraders #ilaughed

[Disgruntled Teacher @DisgruntledTea2]

I have changed jobs and now teach middle school religion, and that’s a lot of fun. However, I now have an eighth grade cult I think I’m a member of (maybe just a proctor). I don’t know what to do about that. #middleschool #cult #help

[Disgruntled Teacher @DisgruntledTea2]

It’s only third period and I’ve already resorted to eating cake in a darkened classroom. This does not bode well. #teaching #mondays #sendhelp

[Disgruntled Teacher @DisgruntledTea2]

I may or may not have accidentally left a student outside yesterday. In the rain. For half an hour. #TeacheroftheYear #ihavenoexcuse #shewasagoodsport

[Disgruntled Teacher @DisgruntledTea2]

A student just told me it doesn’t count as a felony if she wins the fight. #teaching #sophomorelogic

[Disgruntled Teacher @DisgruntledTea2]

We’re at a service project for school, and the students are diligently building sign while I sit in the grass and try to egg them into a fight. #teacheroftheyear #service #fridays

[Disgruntled Teacher @DisgruntledTea2]

My students learned that there’s an online application to sell your soul. That’s how my morning is going so far #teaching #theCrucible #idontwanttoliveonthisplanet

[Disgruntled Teacher @DisgruntledTea2]

A student said Dr. Zeus instead of Dr. Seuss, and my only regret is that I can’t draw. #teaching #zeus #drseuss

[Disgruntled Teacher @DisgruntledTea2]

If I “accidentally” lost all the essays I have to grade, how many students would be upset? #teacherthoughts

[Disgruntled Teacher @DisgruntledTea2]

Got to watch the panick in freshmen faves as they discovered they DO have exams in a couple weeks, and they ARE in every class. Even art. And speech. And English. #freshmen #exams #hsproblems

[Disgruntled Teacher @DisgruntledTea2]

Sophomore boy 1 used me to know where boy 2 was so he could throw a marker at him. It bounced off 2’s shoulder and came back to boy 1. I laughed instead of writing a detention. #teaching #sophomoreboys #hsproblems

[Disgruntled Teacher @DisgruntledTea2]

I have a new plan. It’s stupid and time consuming, and I can’t wait. #idoactuallyteach #pranks #highschool

[Disgruntled Teacher @DisgruntledTea2]

On the plus side, my student finally found the prank I played on her last week. #ohwell #worthit

[Disgruntled Teacher @DisgruntledTea2]

Had to clean bones off the cafeteria floor b/c sophomores still don’t have object permanence. It left his hand & stopped existing. #hs #done

[Disgruntled Teacher @DisgruntledTea2]

Pencil-stealing has now become such a problem that my students may shortly be required to bring in labeled pencils. #highschool #freshmen

[Disgruntled Teacher @DisgruntledTea2]

My day has come down to this: do I grade the stack of papers at my elbow, or do I draw a stick figure war? #teaching #adulting