Seth Schwartzman

Obscure references available upon request.

[Seth Schwartzman @DoctorChocolate]

@JoshSens Hi @JoshSens, love the article but noticed an error - for DE you list Nick’s Golf, which does have locations in DE, but Ocean City is in MD!

[Seth Schwartzman @DoctorChocolate]

@AngrySkycrane My dad (RIP) showed me once that when I ripped a hole in the radiator pan going over a pothole,
rubbing a bar of soap over the hole can plug it up good enough to get it to the shop without a tow. So there’s that!

[Seth Schwartzman @DoctorChocolate]

@nah_serious Tonight’s forecast: dark.

[Seth Schwartzman @DoctorChocolate]

@FormerHumorist The beacon

[Seth Schwartzman @DoctorChocolate]

@Super70sSports DEVO!

Honorable mention goes to Van Halen, Talking Heads and Hall and Oates.

[Seth Schwartzman @DoctorChocolate]

And the O’s are out of the cellar!!

[Seth Schwartzman @DoctorChocolate]

I see your colorful galaxies and raise you the most beautiful sunset in the history of New Jersey.

[Seth Schwartzman @DoctorChocolate]

The world may be a dumpster fire but hey, The 👏 Orioles 👏 don’t 👏 suck! #Birdland

[Seth Schwartzman @DoctorChocolate]

@joshghiloni Sah dah tay

[Seth Schwartzman @DoctorChocolate]

Another time, the back half of the exhaust ripped off in a parking lot, because we had 6 or 7 people in the car (1 or 2 in the trunk) on the way to a rush event at a bowling alley somewhere near Cleveland.

[Seth Schwartzman @DoctorChocolate]

#MyWorstCar Oh this one's easy. A 1991 Hyundai Elantra (1st year of the model!) - my dad bartered for it with the guy who ran the auto shop he shared space with. He traded them a storage trailer for my first car.

[Seth Schwartzman @DoctorChocolate]

One of my favorite early memories of it was when my high school self was driving badly somewhere in northeast Philly, my friend went to grab the "oh shit" handle, and it came off in his hand.

[Seth Schwartzman @DoctorChocolate]

@nah_serious standing dumps are the new “squatty potty”

[Seth Schwartzman @DoctorChocolate]

Why does my Apple Watch tell me it’s time to stand up when I’m taking a dump?

[Seth Schwartzman @DoctorChocolate]

@Pedram_Navid Too long for my watch’s tastes, apparently.

[Seth Schwartzman @DoctorChocolate]

@DaveWeasel My Morning Jacket, Dr. Dog, Midlake, Band of Horses

[Seth Schwartzman @DoctorChocolate]

@MrTrashWheel Which member of the beloved trash wheel family is this?

[Seth Schwartzman @DoctorChocolate]

@fightingmonk Is that a command you say to your pet beaver? Down beaver! Down! Good beaver.