Dog Bed Intercom

Please don't figure out who I am.

[Dog Bed Intercom @DogBedIntercom]

I forgot how lame and blathering the public can be. God speed @cspan

[Dog Bed Intercom @DogBedIntercom]

@bestshow4life @scharpling @ForeverDogTeam @jonwurster

[Dog Bed Intercom @DogBedIntercom]

@APMike What VHS do you rent from Ippy's?

[Dog Bed Intercom @DogBedIntercom]

What is @WallyWackiman's Q score?

[Dog Bed Intercom @DogBedIntercom]

@bestshow4life How about you take off Chomsky and put on Howard Stern (at any point in his career) and Kermit the Frog?

[Dog Bed Intercom @DogBedIntercom]

Noam Chomsky is boring? This list is illegitimate. #MostBoringPeople

[Dog Bed Intercom @DogBedIntercom]

If only I could go back an change my yearbook quote to: “My second favorite meat is hamburger. And, everyone says, oh, don’t you prefer steak? It’s like, I know steaks are great, but I like hot dog best, and I like hamburger next best.” - Mitt Romney

[Dog Bed Intercom @DogBedIntercom]

I was saving this brag for the right moment and everyone realizing they can just go back to blogging seems like a good enough time.

[Dog Bed Intercom @DogBedIntercom]

Finally! Corporate owned social media is imploding! The world is ready to revisit the semantic web and the friend-of-a-friend distributed social network! If anyone would like to jump on board I'm available all weekend to explain description logic to you.

[Dog Bed Intercom @DogBedIntercom]

We're all familiar with the Halloween expression, "Hello boils and ghouls". It's opened shows, began lectures, and marked the entrances of millions of people worldwide. My question is, can we modify it to include not just boy and girls but everyone? "boils, ghouls, and demons"?

[Dog Bed Intercom @DogBedIntercom]

How about Sour Shoes for NY instead? #50STATESOFBRUCE

[Dog Bed Intercom @DogBedIntercom]

What about Charles Manson? #50STATESOFBRUCE

[Dog Bed Intercom @DogBedIntercom]

@Bafflegabs He's great at playing in straight in incredibly dumb and silly things. https://t.co/cgWzrrSBs3

[Dog Bed Intercom @DogBedIntercom]

I don't want to sound like a shallow jerk but Kim Jong-un looks so old.

[Dog Bed Intercom @DogBedIntercom]

A teacher's biggest responsibility is shutting down puns and other hack shit from students.

[Dog Bed Intercom @DogBedIntercom]

A toilet? Is Hitchcock writing this book? #TOMWRITESAKIDSBOOK

[Dog Bed Intercom @DogBedIntercom]

I hope it is a Halloween book that includes Tom sitting on a lawn chair in the street waiting to fight Michael Myers #TOMWRITESAKIDSBOOK

[Dog Bed Intercom @DogBedIntercom]

It is so obvious Bubba the Love Sponge ripped off Nardwuar the Human Serviette's name.

[Dog Bed Intercom @DogBedIntercom]

Teachers of twitter, help me settle something with the chair of my department. I'm creating a fun environment if I call a student a zipper lips and then do the whole Neil Hamburger routine. Right? #pedagogy

[Dog Bed Intercom @DogBedIntercom]

Have The Kids in the Hall ever been dubbed in German?