Dollar Bill Dave

Top coat, top hat, well I don't worry 'cause my wallet's fat

#SlytherinForLife

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

thanks to this new dentistry, the value of my mouth has increased....ladies

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

Bill Murray’s death in Zombieland is still the most powerful moment in cinematic history.

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

Sometimes people have unrealistic expectations of me. I'm so much better than they could possibly imagine.

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

If you wanna get serious about GUN CONTROL you'll cut off everyone's hands. You'll thank me later.

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

It's time for my weekly tweet. Here goes nothin.

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

Me thinking about work tomorrow: I don't wanna work.

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

Often times Henry Cavill looks too much like Will Arnett for me to take him seriously....

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

DC should just put out a movie called Victor with Stone, Fries, and Zsasz

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

Diana Prince??? wow patriarchy much?

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

Watching Justice League and gosh darnit Flash is totally the psychopath from We Need To Talk About Kevin

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

When short people order pancakes do they call it a short stack or just a stack?

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

Not to brag but my maxillary arch is now approx. 41 mm

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

cris collinsworth, no, this is not basketball

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

Can't wait til next years super bowl commercial with steven tyler

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

this dad is a tide dad

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

cris collinsworth just called a football player "athletic"

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

I expect this retirement company who has enough money to advertise on the Super Bowl to plenty of retirement money that I'm sure will be there for ME.

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

The Shape of Water is no tale of morals and life lessons, but it does contain a sweet dance number.

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

If I complain loud enough, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

Are you from the Czech republic? Because you gotta Czech yourself before you wreck yourself

[Dollar Bill Dave @DollarBillDave]

Fun Fact: There's evidence that mistletoe extract kills cancer cells.