Many of us wanted to pass down relationship/marriage tips to our children but didn't know what to say or how to go about it.
We just wanted our kids to do better & not to make the mistakes we made.
Until we came across @jon_d_doe Agba's page.
Our eyes have opened.
Imagine telling/counselling your boy child that:
👉Never go back to a lady who has gone ahead to date someone else.
👉Before you choose a wife, choose her mother.
👉A woman who's shown you her nakedness can show you her wickedness.
👉Start small but not empty.
👉Your mother and your father's wife is not the same person.
👉Never wife a known hoe
👉The best gift for your unborn kids is the choice of a good mother.
👉When you eat her food, try to part with some money. She'll appreciate it.
👉Don't feed your family with fraudulent money.
👉Don't steal or commit crime to impress any woman.
👉Don't play fatherly roles for a woman that's not your wife e.g rent, school fees, businesses
👉The vagina needs only water, and water is cheap.
Or telling you girl child:
👉Avoid fraudulent men.
👉A woman learns to respect her husband as she see her mum respect her dad.
👉Never beg a man for money, manage you "rags".
👉Tame your greed.
👉A man must come to seek consent from your father before he engages you.
👉Never get pregnant for a man who's not paid your bride price.
👉Clean up a man's penis after sex.
👉The "sins" of a mother can affect the daughter.
These golden advices:
Etched in sands of time
Confirmed by elders
Approved by our ancestors
Have not only redefined marriage and relationship but can be handed down to generations unborn.
We now know what to say, with verifiable evidences.
What a time to be a Beneficiary of these golden tips
Nigerians are ready to work. In fact they work harder than most people around the world. You just don’t consider their labor to be worth anything. That’s why you even under-compensate them.
A truck pusher who is an integral part of a logistics chain does not earn enough to survive, because you don’t consider what they do that important to pay them enough.
But when you look at it carefully, they are as important as the person who signs off to confirm they have delivered whatever load they are ask to transport.
You will sign with “pen and paper” and earn millions while they earn peanuts.
You will come to X to open your dirty mouth to say Nigerians don’t like to work, because they system favoured you or you inherited wealth from those the system favoured.
Who will like to work where honest labor is worth nothing?
Ndi ala.
So guys two weeks ago I opened space and Someone came on that space and said who sells hair here, I said it’s me oo.. this guy asked me if I have black bone straight and I said yes i do, he asked for 32” I said what’s available is 30” he asked for the price on the space, I told him, then he said send me your details, I saw he already dm me and he said your details and phone number, I sent him my business number and my account details, he texted and said hi, I knew he was the one and it was an international number, he said he has two girlfriends and he will want to get same the girls the hair, he said can he call me and add the girl to the call so I can explain better to her, I said why not, I was happy I made sales😂😂 I was even gisting my friends that thank God I opened the space oo that I just made sales😂😂😂
Guys guess what happened next?
Dating someone much younger than you especially a teenager when you’re over 30 often comes from a place of insecurity rather than genuine love.
Many men choose younger women because they feel they have more control over them.
They believe a younger woman will respect them more, be easier to impress, and won’t challenge them the way a mature woman would. But this is a false sense of security.🤣🙌
A teenager is still growing mentally, emotionally, and socially.
She hasn’t fully figured out who she is or what she truly wants in life.
If you marry her young, she may accept it at first, but as she matures, she will begin to question everything.
She’ll start to wonder if she truly made the choice herself or if she was influenced by circumstances; your financial support, your authority, or her youthful inexperience.
As time passes, she will see her peers enjoying their youth, making their own choices, and experiencing life freely.
She may begin to resent you for "taking away" those years from her. What started as admiration could turn into bitterness.
She may say things like, "You married me when I was too young to know better," or "You never let me enjoy my youth."
Even if she agreed to the marriage at the time, she may later see it as something forced by circumstances rather than a choice she fully understood.
Many men who marry much younger women think they are securing a long-term relationship, but in reality, they are often planting the seeds of future regret and resentment.
That younger woman may wake up one day and feel trapped, craving the freedom and experiences she missed. And when that happens, the very relationship that was supposed to bring happiness could instead lead to distance, emotional detachment, or even separation.
If you’re in your 30s or older, choosing a partner should be about shared values, emotional maturity, and genuine connection, not just age and beauty. A difference of 5 years, ain't bad...
10 years ago today, I arrived Canada from Nigeria & life hasn’t been the same since then.
To those planning on travelling abroad this year or in the near future, come closer because things aren’t what they used to be.
Here are 10 key lessons I have learnt over the years abroad.
One day, I was driving my girlfriend, who was a final year student at the time, back to her campus. It was around 9PM when the police stopped us at a check point. They asked for my driver’s license, which I provided, and then for the vehicle registration, which I also provided. The next thing they asked was, “anything for us?” i said, “No sir”. Then they asked, “who is in your car?”, and I replied “she’s my girlfriend”. They went further to ask, “Where are you taking her?” I responded, “I’m taking her back to campus”.
He’s a “survivor!”
Here is his story…
Born into a royal polygamous home, as the first male child, he became a “prey” to a diabolic step-mother (who happened to be the senior wife).
Anyone with knowledge of the “position” of the first male child in an Igbo royal home, of the 1950s-1980s, would understand why he’s a “prey”.
Barely aged 2, he was hit with a crippling sickness. It was poison. A big hole developed in his heart - still there till this day.
From running around happily, he was setback to crawling, then to lying down only, as his legs had seized to function. A day his chapter was to be closed, God extended his healing hand.
A dibia, rode his bicycle from a very distant town, about 3 towns afar, to see him. Dad’s breath had seized, he was in coma, yet not entirely gone.
I've been married for 25 years.
My husband and I never lived together under the same roof all these years.
I lived in the South East and worked there before marriage.
After marriage, I offered to resign from my job and join him in Lagos but he rejected the idea.
He said our family needed more financial support from my job.
My Mother and Mother-in-law advised me not to resign from my job and I believe they saw the future.
I also never visited him in Lagos where he resided and worked.
The only time I attempted to visit him in Lagos led to a rift between us.
He threatened to end the marriage and our families had to get involved to resolve the misunderstanding.
He only visited when he liked and that was when it was time for another baby.
We have 4 children together.
Now 25 years later my husband has retired from his job and has moved back to the South East.
The problem is that we live like strangers.
I don't know him and we have no relationship.
We just spent about 1 week together during each of his visits.
He could be gone for over a year without visiting.
The major issue is that I feel a deep sense of resentment for him.
He returned expecting everything to be all lovey-dovey but he is unrealistic.
We never had any conversations, our relationship was so official.
I never enjoyed the marriage which is the main reason for my resentment.
I got married majorly for companionship but I found myself alone like a single woman for 25 years.
If only I knew this was what he had to offer I never would have married him.
Not only did I not have companionship, I hustled like a single mother for 25 years.
My husband never provided any financial support.
At the beginning he kept playing me around each time I asked for money.
After a while he couldn't play around anymore he told me how he didn't live in the apartment so why should he pay for it?
He said the same thing about food and other needs.
I couldn't believe it.
After a heated showdown, his Mother and my Mother had a heart-to-heart talk with me, telling me to take care of my needs as I could.
I also had to cater to our children's needs after he kept dragging his feet.
I felt like I married myself.
I had a husband yet I was hustling like I was a single Mother.
I felt so much resentment towards him.
After the birth of our fourth child, I stopped communicating with him.
He never communicated, we only talked once I called him.
Funny enough he was fine with us not communicating.
That showed me the state of our marriage.
Our oldest child is 24 and out of the house. The other children are 22, 20, and 18. They are all adults, two are graduates from the university.
The other 2 are undergraduates and out of the house.
So it's just the two of us.
Now he is making small talk trying to communicate with me like we are a loving couple.
No love ever existed between us.
Our families have asked me to forgive like everyone else.
It's always so easy to dish out advice once it's not you.
The truth is that there is no way I can relate to him as a loving husband.
Now he is staying in the very apartment he refused to pay for.
He complains that I don't talk to him and sometimes I don't come home.
What does he expect?
His presence offends me and sometimes I stop by my friend who is a widow.
She lives alone and I have spent some nights with her since our youngest child left home.
We could both do with some company.
He is accusing me of seeing another man.
Did I know what he did in Lagos for 25 years?
It's just irritating how he expects us to carry on like nothing happened and all is well.
I don't know how to get out of this situation.
I'm thinking about getting another apartment and moving out.
My greatest regret is marrying this man.
This is not the life I wanted.
I had to work overtime to ensure that I didn't dislike our children.
I'm losing my mind with the way he keeps acting like it's business as usual.
Expecting me to cater to him like we made all them
Don't be scared
- Cover the water closet
- Rush to your kitchen
- Get a bulb of Garlic
- Blend it
- Get 2 litres of kerosene
- Mix it with the blended Garlic
- Go back to the WC
- Open, pour the mixture & flush it
- Every Snake in your drainage pipe will not last 20mins
Immediately I got married I noticed a trend
Whatever my husband spoke into my life would happen
He didn’t need to be praying when he was saying it
He would just declare it
Shortly after we our court wedding, I lost my Job
Chairman just said “Baby don’t worry, the next job you get you will be paying you higher than you ever earned”
It happened like film trick.
I had like three job offers the next month and I had to cherry pick
He told me we would apply for your VISA just once and you will get it
Boom! It happened
I kept noticing that and now I don’t joke with his prayers or declarations over my life
As I was meditating on this the holyspirit took my mind to Priesthood
Being a man and being the head of the home is not shouting up and down and bullying your spouse and eating 6 meat inside soup
It is understanding that God has given you an office and if you can wield it positively to push your family in the right direction
The same way Jesus being the head of the church makes sure that the church, His bride has everything needed for it to thrive
You do not need to be a Pastor or hold an official title to operate in this realm
All you need is UNDERSTANDING
It’s like when someone is made Governor or president
Whether the person is tall, short, skinny, no
matter the race or the tribe, as long as that person was sworn in rightly according to laws and traditions,that office has privileges that the person can use and wield
It’s not about the person
It’s about the office
Same thing happens spiritually
The Bible said that “two shall put Ten thousand to flight”
Once you have this understanding, you pray different in marriage
You hold hands with your spouse and hell must tremble because two can now do ten times more than before
The Bible says “he that finds a wife has found good and favour”
It means that by virtue of my marriage, goodness and favour should be constant in my home
My name must not be sister Favour before this happens
If you understand scripture and enter the war room with understanding, you pray different
PS: Read with Understanding!
#womanengraced
I lived in the US 🇺🇸 for several years and now I live in Denmark 🇩🇰
Here's a comparison of the two countries (based on my experiences):
1. Entering the country
🇺🇸 If you are a brown man like me, chances are you will be selected for "random screening.”
Stay wicked!
Let me tell a long story but will make it short as possible. Not for you really because you already acted right, but for others who might be in your situation.
My cousin who came to the US to study in 2021 and suddenly his older brother and the wife (her especially) started beefing him that he couldn’t send them something or he tells them he doesn’t have when they ask. The wife says things like; when he was in Uniben, he comes here for vacation, I am the one who cook and gives him food. I even collect money from his brother to buy him things when he is returning back to school. Eventually, that same wife’s younger brother wanted to get married and he sent him 20k. He called him to say he was disappointed that only 20k was what he could send to him for his wedding. A student in school on student visa o 😄😄
I told my dad and he called him and sternly told him:
I have lived in this country since 1982 and I came here as a student so I will tell you 3 things that will guide you in this country.
1. By the virtue of your relocation here some relationships will never be what they are again. It is not pride but no matter what you do, those people will never value it. What to do? Cut them off!
2. You are now in the US, stay on business the country is brutal, and even if you come to me as your uncle for help, I might not be able to assist you. It is not wickedness, you are also in the America and can see that money does not grow on trees and everyone has their own bills to pay.
3. Receivers will always beg, it is the giver that should know when to stop because here as a cheerful giver, you will lack 😂😂.
He told him to forget about them and focus on his trouble in the US. , That was how he stopped talking to the brother, his wife, and wife’s brother.
Fast forward to 2022, the same brother’s wife brother who married came to the US on student visa. Florida of all places and a university in Miami. He started struggling but they couldn’t reach out to him.
Now the interesting part 😄😄😄
They eventually called him when the boy couldn’t even secure any type of meaningful legal or illegal work and the only one he got was at a stable to feed horses 😂😂😂. The elder brother and wife called and started begging that how can he transfer to his school and start staying with him as they don’t want him to feed horses because he might lose his life if a horse kick him 🤣😂😂😂😂
We still use this story to joke in my family when anyone from Nigeria is feeling entitled.
My dad would say in Yoruba - “Ma worry iwo na ma debi wa feedi eshin, wa gbon 😂😂😂😂”. Meaning, “until you come here and feed horses, you won’t be wise” 😂😂
Finally, they could realize that going abroad isn’t a passport to money on trees and most of their foolish entitlement and request are foolish at best!
@Sparkybwoii2@_agneeess There are still very good women, just search with good intentions. Besides some women who have stood with their men until they succeed are just low key and not sharing on social media