Donna Hesterman

Teacher - because trophy wife seemed a cop out

[NYT Science @NYTScience]

This week, as part of the The New York Times birding project, we’re asking beginning birders to do something foundational: Learn to identify a few of the birds most commonly seen near where you live. Here’s how to get started. https://t.co/faTn9vS9iT

[Donna Hesterman @DonnaHesterman]

So, what even happened to fig newtons? Are they still out there? With all that’s going on, I feel like a big glass of milk and a packa newts would hit the spot.

[Donna Hesterman @DonnaHesterman]

Tapirs look like they are wearing diapers. I said what I said.

[Donna Hesterman @DonnaHesterman]

@TheOnion @nadiamdrake

[Donna Hesterman @DonnaHesterman]

@phylogenomics FRESH FACE!!!

[Donna Hesterman @DonnaHesterman]

@SunshineMenezes Hopefully your full professor symptoms will be equally mild.

[Donna Hesterman @DonnaHesterman]

If your college aged son comes home and you don’t bake cookies and binge watch Boba Fett, are you even really a boy mom?

[Donna Hesterman @DonnaHesterman]

Google Maps lies like a rug in central FL around I-95.

[Donna Hesterman @DonnaHesterman]

Wishing hubby all the success in the world with his book being published this spring. I was going to write one too, but decided I might make more money from not writing a book about my time in the Corps. Y’all know who you are! Go ahead and Venmo me that hush money.

[Donna Hesterman @DonnaHesterman]

@NinaStrohminger I bet I know who the “one” was.

[Bobby Belt @BobbyBeltTX]

Mac Jones trying to listen to Josh McDaniels, but too fascinated looking at his own breath:

[Shadowhunter @manisha72617183]

The phrase "what the entire fuck" implies the existence of fractional fucks.

"what the absolute fuck" implies the existence of positive and negative fucks.

"what the actual fuck" implies existence of imaginary fucks.

Conclusion: fuckery is isomorphic with the complex field.

[karl hess @karlhess]

think i’m gonna get on the mediterranean diet (14 cigarettes and 5 espressos while sitting all day in front of a café)

[Ms Good Good @triniliciousd]

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear a mask and glasses at the same time? You may be entitled to condensation.

[Donna Hesterman @DonnaHesterman]

@Sheril_ Please just let this play out.

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” it’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient

[Michael Baym @baym]

Seriously people, it’s “omicron” not “omnicron.” It’s a Greek letter, not some c-list sci-fi villain.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Child Weirded Out After Bumping Into Teacher Outside Laptop https://t.co/gIgpPYWXzv

[George Takei @GeorgeTakei]

Fun fact: If you say “Marjorie Taylor Greene” three times in front of a mirror, she still won’t appear on your Twitter feed.

[Donna Hesterman @DonnaHesterman]

My preschooler niece said I looked like a princess last night, and I’m just going to vibe on that for as long as I can into the new year.