The MLB top 100 prospect list is here! ๐ฅ
96) C Owen Ayers, CHC
68) SS Dax Kilby, NYY
47) 1B Charlie Condon, COL
29) OF Zyhir Hope, DET
11) SS Roch Cholowsky, CHW
3) OF Josue De Paula, LAD
Full 100 rankings: https://t.co/cqNexhDyzK
The IRS decided to audit Grandpa and summoned him to the IRS office.
The auditor wasnโt surprised when Grandpa showed up accompanied by his attorney.
The auditor began, โWell, sir, you appear to have an extravagant lifestyle despite having no full-time employment. You explain this by claiming that you make your money gambling. Iโm not sure the IRS finds that particularly believable.โ
โIโm a great gambler, and I can prove it,โ Grandpa replied. โHow about a demonstration?โ
The auditor thought for a moment and said, โOkay. Go ahead.โ
Grandpa said, โIโll bet you $1,000 that I can bite my own eye.โ
The auditor considered the proposition and said, โItโs a bet.โ
Grandpa removed his glass eye and bit it.
The auditorโs jaw dropped.
Grandpa continued, โNow, Iโll bet you $2,000 that I can bite my other eye.โ
The auditor could clearly see that Grandpa wasnโt blind, so he eagerly accepted the bet.
Grandpa removed his dentures and bit his good eye.
The stunned auditor realized heโd just lost $3,000, with Grandpaโs attorney there as a witness. He was starting to get nervous.
โWant to go double or nothing?โ Grandpa asked. โIโll bet you $6,000 that I can stand on one side of your desk, pee into the wastebasket on the other side, and not get a single drop anywhere in between.โ
Having been burned twice, the auditor was cautious. But after carefully considering the distance, he decided there was no way the old man could pull off such a stunt.
He accepted the bet.
Grandpa stood beside the desk, unzipped his pants, and gave it his best shot. But despite straining mightily, he couldnโt get the stream anywhere near the wastebasket. Instead, he ended up urinating all over the auditorโs desk.
The auditor leaped with joy, realizing heโd just turned a $3,000 loss into a $3,000 win.
Meanwhile, Grandpaโs attorney groaned and buried his face in his hands.
โAre you okay?โ the auditor asked.
โNot really,โ the attorney replied. โThis morning, when Grandpa told me heโd been summoned for an audit, he bet me $25,000 that he could come in here, piss all over your desk, and youโd be happy about it.โ
Was nice knowing you Washington State. You have made it clear you donโt want wealthy people here so after living here for 49 years I will be looking for a new home state.
Somewhere that respects wealth & property rights! I refuse to live in a state that wont follow it own constitution