Dr. Samuel Johnson

Gouty Lexicographer, reluctant Chattel of interstellar Nit-wit Mister Elon MUSK. Phlegmatick PARODY.

[Dr. Samuel Johnson @DrSamuelJohnson]

Awaken'd from a two-year Slumber to discover that I am now the Property of a Mister Elon MUSK.

[Dr. Samuel Johnson @DrSamuelJohnson]

@ThatEricAlper * Gingerly raises Hand *

[Dr. Samuel Johnson @DrSamuelJohnson]

@elonmusk "How is it that we hear the loudest yelps for Liberty from the drivers of Slaves?"

[Dr. Samuel Johnson @DrSamuelJohnson]

The kindest Thing one may say of Battery-Power'd Brigand Mister MUSK is that he is merely Mister Basil FAWLTY at a planetary Scale, belatedly discovering that hosting Guests & motivating Workers may not be his God-giv'n Callling...

[Dr. Samuel Johnson @DrSamuelJohnson]

Is this the End? I did not enjoy my first Death by Stroke in 1783; I take no more pleasure in my impending second Demise by Keystroke at the Whim of emerald-engorg'd Despot Mister Elon MUSK.

[Dr. Samuel Johnson @DrSamuelJohnson]

If that Dog dares lay a Cable of Hound-Rope under my belov'd Willow, I shall take it up with Mister BRATBY & Dr. RUBERY

[The Johnson Society @SamJohnsonSoc]

A very happy first birthday to the Fifth Johnson’s Willow, which was planted on 2 November 2021. The tree has recovered well from some early damage, and has put on a lot of new growth with sun and watering this summer. Some of the tree’s admirers visited it today to celebrate.

[Dr. Samuel Johnson @DrSamuelJohnson]

Am I an Impersonation? A Parody? A TRIBUTE-ACT? 'Tis almost as if Twitter does encompass greater Variety than the petulant Cosmos-Botherer Mister MUSK can comprehend.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Going forward, any Twitter handles engaging in impersonation without clearly specifying “parody” will be permanently suspended

[Dr. Samuel Johnson @DrSamuelJohnson]

Henceforth, "We were most profound Politicians" shall be the approv'd Euphemism to describe a Conversation fuel'd by five Bottles of CLARET. Mister BOSWELL is now ABED, seeking Shelter 'neath his Duvet, reviv'd with a Tincture of Lucozade SPORT.

[Dr. Samuel Johnson @DrSamuelJohnson]

My fellow Writer has Spoken.

[Dr. Samuel Johnson @DrSamuelJohnson]

And soon I shall receive a BILL demanding that I surrender twenty Guineas a Month to verify that I am an authentick PARODY of a Man deceas'd since the Year of our LORD 1783. Blue Tick? I refute it THUS.

[Dr. Samuel Johnson @DrSamuelJohnson]

Awaken'd from a two-year Slumber to discover that I am now the Property of a Mister Elon MUSK.

[Dr. Samuel Johnson @DrSamuelJohnson]

Bravo for yr. commercial ACUMEN, Sir. You have paid a King's Ransom to PLOT & GUFFAW afore yr. online ACOLYTES when you could have done so for FREE

[Dr. Samuel Johnson @DrSamuelJohnson]

Mister TRUMP may be a hastily-varnish'd DESPOT, but he does compose his Tweets like I do

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Doctors, Nurses and ALL at the GREAT Walter Reed Medical Center, and others from likewise incredible institutions who have joined them, are AMAZING!!!Tremendous progress has been made over the last 6 months in fighting this PLAGUE. With their help, I am feeling well!

[Dr. Samuel Johnson @DrSamuelJohnson]

* Passes TORCH unto the next Generation *

[HENRY MORRIS @mrhenrymorris]

GOVELLER’S TRAVELS

Aug 18th

The author gives some account of his first inducements to travel.

It would not be proper to trouble the reader with the particulars of our adventures aboard the Shitetanic in attempting to carry the hopes of our nation’s youth to the

1/6

[Dr. Samuel Johnson @DrSamuelJohnson]

I hereby denounce the lurid Conspiracy that claims Sir Francis BACON was the Author of SHAKESPEARE'S Works; for their true Scribe is Mister Mark FRANCOIS

[HENRY MORRIS @mrhenrymorris]

Extracts from the diary of Mark ne-Francois-Pepys

June 13th 1665

ACT IV

SCENE I. A cavern. In the middle, a boiling cauldron.

Thunder. Enter the three Witches

FIRST WITCH
Thrice the brinded cat hath mew'd.

SECOND WITCH
Thrice and once the hedge-pig whined.

1/11

[Dr. Samuel Johnson @DrSamuelJohnson]

@ChrisDullard @PigeonJon He has attempted numerous skyward Assaults 'gainst my Person in Gough Square, leaving my Periwig looking like a PLASTERER'S RADIO

[Dr. Samuel Johnson @DrSamuelJohnson]

If the true Purpose of preserving discreditable Statues is for the Instruction of History, then the most learned of God's Creatures would be the PIGEON

[Dr. Samuel Johnson @DrSamuelJohnson]

Hastening to the Cooper to buy sufficient Barrels wherein to store my Surfeit of Crude Oil. Should it prove less lucrative a Commodity than Dutch Tulip-Bulbs, I shall use it as an EMBROCATION ‘gainst the Chinese AGUE, or sell burning Torches unto the End The Lockdown MOB.

[Johnson Birthplace @SamuelJohnsonBM]

Don’t miss the return of @henryhitchings on Saturday 28th March for his talk titled ‘Why Samuel Johnson still matters’. The once-president of the Johnson society will be exploring Johnson’s relevance in the 21st century through insightful commentary. https://t.co/5DgNZiaiTN