Your kids will not thank you for this, neither will your husband. You will develop resentment over not being properly appreciated for sacrifices you weren't asked to make and your family will be baffled when you one day explode at them.
tolerating always turns into resentment. at first, you call it patience, then love. but what it really is, is self abandonment. every time you swallow a boundary, excuse a pattern or silence your discomfort, something inside you keeps score. eventually, the bill comes due.
Date ppl who are gentle with you bc love is ethical before it is emotional. That part gets skipped a lot. Attraction & chemistry can be loud but even trauma has chemistry too.