3Sheepinatrenchcoat

Most things in life are absurd, this profile is no different.

All views expressed here are correct. You're welcome to disagree, just know that you are wrong.

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

Isa 45:22 Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I am God, and there is none else.

Isa 45:23 I have sworn by myself, the word is gone out of my mouth in righteousness, and shall not return, That unto me every knee shall bow, every tongue shall swear.

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

@JDtheBotGuy How else are we meant to catalog the impressive and weird poops to tell our buddies about later?

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

@TheTacticalTurt "tHeRe Is nOthInG sExuAl AbOuT oUR pArAdes. WHy cAn'T yOu lEave uS aLonE yoU BiGGot."

Retarded creeps.

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

@thecavedaddy Working construction there is >0% chance of having your butt touched and your moobs groped. Throw in being hot and sweaty all the time, it's basically pole dancing with 1/2 the pay.

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

@TheTacticalTurt They're gonna take a stapler and bibbidy bobbity boop those tendons right back into place.

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

@braxton_mccoy I'd love to know how a .17 Remington does out that far. 4200 fps at the barrel with a 20 grain pill.

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

@PrideslayerMMA I'm planning on getting back into the game this fall when I get more time. When I do, teach me some raids?

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

@Mullet_Simp I don't know, but I can safely say it's more than 25.

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

@Iraqveteran8888 My wife and I just had a baby and bought a house before 30. It's a lot of hard work and self control, but it's possible. The American dream might be on a higher shelf, but it's still within reach if you're willing to jump for it.

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

@thecavedaddy

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

@JDtheBotGuy

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

@thecavedaddy Also, it's probably easier for some people to fall asleep to the chirping of the ceiling bird and the dull roar of neighborhood violence. 🤷

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

@thecavedaddy Is it segregation if they do it to themselves?

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

@BadQualityMemes @fillefoux

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

Poetry. Pure, simple, poetry.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

In Nashville I ordered hot chicken.

The woman at the counter was named Brenda. She did not ask if I wanted it spicy.

She asked how much of my afternoon I was willing to lose.

"Mild, medium, hot, XXX, or the one we do not put on the menu?"

A guest does not choose the lightest blade.

"XXX," I said.

Brenda looked at me the way a smith looks at a man who has asked for a sword sharper than his hands.

"You ever had this before?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"I am sure."

She wrote it down. No mercy.

It arrived. Red. Gleaming. Beautiful the way a warning is beautiful.

I took one bite.

For three seconds there was chicken.

Then there was only light.

A child at the next table whispered, "Mama, that man is glowing."

Brenda glanced once. "You good?"

I could not feel my tongue. I nodded anyway. A samurai does not negotiate with poultry.

She set down a glass of milk I had not ordered.

"On the house. Everybody gets one lie. Yours was XXX."

I finished it. The chicken won.

I returned the next day.

Brenda smiled, not unkind.

"Medium?"

"...Medium."

She nodded like a teacher watching a student finally read the room.

In Japan we test a blade by cutting, then leave the student alone with the lesson.

In Nashville they test a man by fire—

then set the milk down like a hand on his shoulder.

That is not cruelty.

That is belonging.

America does not ask if you can take the heat.

America brings the heat.

Then America brings the milk.

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

@The_King_Trout Party all the time, party all the time, party alllllll the tiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIMEEE!

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

@yourboyphen Next week on "Adventures With Phen" "Today we ding dong ditch the grumpy old man with burning bags of dog poop on his porch!"

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

@TheTacticalTurt

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

@TheTacticalTurt Glad you're okay! You're not supposed to find the fast way down birdman.

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

I've lived a lot of places, but these mountains will always be home.

[3Sheepinatrenchcoat @DressBibs]

@zacharyebell @RonnieAdkins @TylerAndrews13 @SecVetAffairs @SecKennedy Man, I bet your book is going to be titled something so cool, something like "Cool stuff I never imagined I'd be doing one night while I watched two men do unspeakable things to a donkey: A memoir."