Mortimus Gonfly

[Gavin Newsom @GavinNewsom]

Wow. Donald Trump is holding affordable housing hostage until Congress passes his voter suppression bill.

He is literally delaying help for families struggling to afford a home in order to make it harder for married women and Black Americans to vote.

He is a sick man!

[Variety @Variety]

The Leonard Cohen estate is objecting to Trump's promised use of the song “Hallelujah” ahead of Wednesday night’s Freedom 250 rally in Washington, D.C.

“The Leonard Cohen Estate has learned that the song ‘Hallelujah’ is to be performed at a Donald Trump rally on June 24,” says a posting on the late singer’s social media. “This use is not authorized, and the Estate does not support or approve of this or any similar usage.”

https://t.co/JVD9vVLsIE

[Variety @Variety]

#LarryDavid says President Donald Trump's UFC fight at the White House made him "embarrassed to be an American."

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

Nobody is vandalizing the Reflecting Pool, and Trump knows it. This is a visible example of his corruption--a no-bid contract to some crony followed by sky-high cost overruns, and shoddy construction to boot. Classic Trump: I didn't fuck up, it was my enemies.

[James Tate @JamesTate121]

Step 1: Remove filters in Reflecting Pool because Obama put them in.
Step 2: Give your criminal neighbor who runs "Greenwater Services" a $20 million no-bid contract to paint the pool.
Step 3: Fill the pool with water from the Potomac River, the phosphates from which cause algae blooms.
Step 4: Freshly sealed pool and extreme heat result in a super scum event
Step 5: Direct National Park Service to dump hydrogen peroxide into the pool which causes the paint to peel.
Step 5: Deploy US National Guard to stop people from taking photos of the swamp as a perfect metaphor for the administration.
Step 6: Blame someone else.

[Cheese For Everyone! @CheeseForEvery1]

ME, DYING: “P—please…let the world know… *cough cough*…let the world know what I thought about the president.”

[The Atlantic @TheAtlantic]

"Trump and his team, in record time, just lost a war to a militarily mediocre—but nonetheless, extremely dangerous—adversary," @RadioFreeTom argues. https://t.co/bqcAYjbMiX

[Variety @Variety]

At no point has the Trump presidency more closely resembled a scene out of “Idiocracy,” Mike Judge’s 2006 satire about a Philistine society that abhors intellectualism, than on Sunday night, as the White House played host to UFC Freedom 250.

The event was ostensibly meant to commemorate the 250th birthday of America, but really to honor the 80th birthday of President Donald J. Trump, a man whose thirst for adulation and public spectacle will never be quenched.

Read the full column from @MarlowNYC: https://t.co/PcD9ui6jjr

[The New York Times @nytimes]

From @TheAthletic: Shai Gilgeous-Alexander’s lawyers issued a cease and desist letter to Underdog Sports to deter the release of a game mocking the Thunder star's efforts to draw fouls. https://t.co/GQ0V9aJZB1

[The Washington Post @washingtonpost]

Bruce Springsteen’s show at Nationals Park was the second-to-last in a tour cast as an act of resistance against President Trump.

During the show, he announced the first Power to the People Festival in D.C. on Oct. 3. Read more here: https://t.co/z4jt0bEbMT

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

SINCE SCOTT BESSENT DOES NOT LIKE MY “J6 SLUSH FUND TAX,” (MAKE THEM PAY!) I AM NOW LOOKING INTO TAXING HIS UGLY PINK MANSION! THE PUBLIC HAS SUFFERED LONG ENOUGH. THIS IS A PUBLIC NUISANCE! 100% TAX ON PAYOUTS FOR J6 COP BEATERS AND UGLY PINK MANSIONS! — Governor GCN

[Mortimus Gonfly @Drgonfly]

What sport is this terrible commissioner watching?? Unreal officiating.

[Fullcourtpass @Fullcourtpass]

Adam Silver says flopping in the NBA is not a pressing issue

“Even as I sit in the stands at games, players may be falling down, players may be reacting to a call. But to me, if they’re not fooling the referees, it’s OK. Players are taught to sell calls these days.”

(Via @PatMcAfeeShow)

[Hillary Clinton @HillaryClinton]

By the end of Trump’s term, it’ll be just enough to buy one gallon of gas and a carton of eggs.

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

BREAKING: California will impose a 100% tax on payments distributed from Trump’s Jan. 6th “slush fund.”

[Mortimus Gonfly @Drgonfly]

@NBA failing

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

America deserves a mentally fit President.

Unfortunately, we don’t have one.

[Mortimus Gonfly @Drgonfly]

I guess if you challenge at an away game they won’t give it to you @NBA @spurs @okcthunder @ESPNNBA #horseshit

[Katherine Argent @effthealgorithm]

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

[PaulleyTicks @PaulleyTicks]

So yesterday Donald Trump posted a video of him crashing Stephen Colbert's final show, and literally throwing him in the garbage, and of course, I had to FIX it.

[Morgan J. Freeman @mjfree]

Colbert for the win!