Audu

In plain view.

[. @UcheKl]

Someone is lamenting on the timeline about his hometown being overrun by terrorists, yet he supports Tinubu and cannot draw a straight line from failed leadership to the death of his loved ones.
Nigerians are a funny set of people.

[Tonton @DiKachii]

Na only poor man pikin we dey see baby bump pictures after the pikin dem born don dey walk. This life....life anagaga

[Uncle Celestine @cyberomin]

We need a 3rd space in public bathrooms called under 10. Parents are allowed to walk with their kids and help them ease themselves.

The dilemma of wondering if you should take your daughter to the ladies or gents as a father is really stressful.

[Tegbe! @TomiwaTegbe]

If I grew up hearing my dad say stuff like “I’m doing all of these for you guys” and then do u-turn years later talmbout “respectable nepotism, I’m rich you’re not”, I’ll sue him for deceitful messaging, betrayal and duplicity.

[sc @sxdiqcarter_]

You gotta give DH his flowers . He was the first person that called this bluff

[Raphael @raphaelgoeiman]

@CitiusMag Summary. Don't run with the big dogs.

[Goyim destroyer @AJMJack123]

@RashmanTheHorse Never do Nigerian meth after reading the Quran

[Audu @DualOctane]

@ElAnonymouss @Osi_Suave Still not mathing.

[Mayowa @Mayoveli]

I've always believed that Maradona’s expulsion from the 94 World Cup had far more to do with his friendship with Castro and his outspoken anti-imperialist politics than it did with doping. They couldn’t stand the prospect of him captivating audiences on U.S. soil.

The same dynamic seems to be playing out again. This World Cup is being heavily politicized. We’re already seeing what look like humiliation rituals directed at African countries, while efforts are made to ensure that nations viewed as geopolitical adversaries don’t get the opportunity to shine on American soil.

Meanwhile, the more credible security threat comes from America’s own gun-heavy society and the possibility of mass shootings carried out by private citizens. What a shame. FIFA could hardly have chosen a worse host.

[Chetuya Chinagolum @Chetuyachinago]

President Bola Ahmed Tinubu just provided further details on his heavily hyped Renewed Hope Agenda, and the sheer mathematics of this project is deeply disturbing, especially since this mega scheme is aggressively marketed as a lifeline to better the lives of ordinary Nigerians.

In the quoted tweet below, President Tinubu claimed that exactly ₦128 billion in mortgages has been generously delivered to 1,859 families at a fixed interest rate of 9.75% spread over 20 long years through the Ministry of Finance Incorporated.
On the surface, this looks like the ultimate utopian dream project, primarily because a 9.75% mortgage rate is ridiculously low, especially when you compare it to the predatory standard market rates which presently sit anywhere between 20%, 25%, 30%, or even higher depending on the bank.
However, even with this seemingly charitable low interest rate, a simple, cold mathematical breakdown instantly exposes that these supposed affordable homes are entirely out of reach for the average, hardworking Nigerian in whose very name this multibillion Naira PR project is being violently advertised.

To see this blatant scam, simply divide ₦128 billion among 1,859 families, and you will rapidly discover that the average mortgage size is a staggering, eye-watering ₦68.8 million per home. Now, under the exact terms quoted by Tinubu, which is 9.75% interest over 20 years with a mandatory 10% equity contribution of roughly ₦6.8 million, a single family would have to reliably cough up roughly ₦600,000 to ₦650,000 every single month just to service this impossible mortgage.

This mathematical reality clearly demonstrates that the policy architects behind this Renewed Hope Agenda have completely, and spectacularly lost their minds, their touch with reality, and their basic common sense.
First of all, the brand new minimum wage recently signed into law in Nigeria is an alleged, highly disputed ₦70,000, which is an insulting amount that many state governors claim they cannot even afford to pay, sustain, or budget for. Even with this symbolic, poverty-level wage, the average Nigerian that these houses are supposedly built for would genuinely need to starve, save every single kobo, and work for one full uninterrupted year just to afford a single one-month mortgage repayment. Currently, absolutely no middle-class citizen in Nigeria with an honest, verifiable, and legitimate source of living can ever afford to burn this massive amount every month for a house, no matter how stupid, lavish, or financially reckless they want to be.

Now this begs the incredibly obvious, screaming question: why on earth is the Tinubu administration deliberately wasting ₦128 billion (a massive $90 million) to provide subsidized affordable housing to a tiny fraction of 1,859 families who are obviously loaded with cash, highly connected, financially immune, and can easily afford luxury apartments, fund their own private estates, secure massive commercial bank loans, or buy premium properties outright?
This ridiculous allocation of scarce public funds makes zero strategic sense because the exact amount quoted for this vanity project is comfortably enough to buy about 4 highly advanced MQ-9 Reaper drones, fully equip them, heavily arm them, and ship them straight to the bleeding frontlines of Northern Nigeria.
These military-grade drones can stay airborne for 30 continuous hours, monitor the entire terror-infested forests in Borno in less than one hour, track moving targets, and violently update the Nigerian military in real time for any mass gatherings of armed bandits, hostage holding areas, illegal gold mining operations, or cross-border insurgent movements.

The colossal amount of money involved in this project is not merely the ₦128 billion senselessly wasted so far. Obviously, before this entire grand, systemic money laundering scheme is fully completed, more than ₦320 billion will have magically vanished, migrated, and evaporated from the Nigerian Treasury directly into the bloated private offshore accounts of ghost contractors, corrupt civil servants, APC campaign financiers, loyal party chieftains, and the ruling party's untouchable inner circle.

This is complete madness. Our brave men in uniform are constantly being taken by surprise, ambushed, and rounded up by ragtag terrorists simply because their vulnerable forward operating bases do not come equipped with basic acoustic sensors, infrared thermal cameras, night vision goggle, or basic aerial reconnaissance drones to serve as early warning mechanisms. Yet the Commander in Chief is cheerfully burning hundreds of billions of Naira under the guise of public welfare, deliberately laundering public treasury funds into the deep back pockets of shady construction companies, and happily providing heavily subsidized affordable housing to his ultra-rich, highly privileged, and politically connected friends.

[neil orpen @neilorpen]

@CallumLyon It makes sense though - when you take on a mortgage you bank takes on the risk

What they are saying is you probably can’t afford a £1300 rent even though you may pay that

They realise you are living beyond your means and they don’t want you to make your problems their problem

[Ben the Seer @MikaelCBernard]

Desmond Idiot, a very fervent agbadorian, was rigged out in broad daylight.

Nobody called Tinubu to come and resolve the APC primaries for him.

Chiefpriest was not even allowed at the election venue, nobody called Tinubu to come and defend votes for him.

One efulefu with no political experience and no capacity lost ticket in their village under NDC, and suddenly you want PO to leave his presidential campaign, to come and fight for them.

Are you not stupid?

[JK classic @SeaJustified]

@TrendingEx No lies, then go and beg Atiku to work with Obi. Tell us his reply and swear to God.

[Audu @DualOctane]

@SebC__ Right, Dembouz is quite chill.

[Audu @DualOctane]

@Ol0ye So if the Somalian national team qualified for this World Cup this is how they'd have been denied Visas? We wouldn't have heard the last of this if it was being done by a non-European/NATO country.

[Audu @DualOctane]

@TeoRanchoddas @jeffwellz Na so 🌚

[Afropolitan 🅰️🌶 @afropolitan]

In Shenzhen, a teacher can own a BYD Seagull for under $10,000.
In Lagos, the same teacher would pay nearly three times that.
China designed it as transportation. We import it as a status symbol.

[Sugabelly 🌕 @sugabelly]

Speaking of quitting Clubhouse because I was tired of seeing all manner of nonsense there, other Nigerians who frequent Clubhouse can bear me full witness on this one.

Who remembers the night that Gajo and Sadiq were shouting at the top of their lungs, that they are ready to kill their parents, wives, children, and neighbours if they ever insult or blaspheme the Prophet Muhammad?

Hundreds of people were there, so if you are planning to say this never happened, there are more than enough witnesses.

Gajo was listing all the people he was going to kill.

He kept saying “I will not hesitate to kill my neighbour if he blaspheme when I will even kill my Mother, I will kill my Father, I will kill my son or daughter if they ever blaspheme my beloved Prophet”

We all heard him say it, and there was no misunderstanding because he was shouting.

This is somebody that used to come to MAS, and because I don’t go to politics rooms, I didn’t have any reason to dislike him, so I always happily welcomed him to MAS.

I don’t do tribalism, so people who were saying “He’s Fulani, don’t let him in” I never accepted that for even one second because all of us in MAS are from all over Nigeria and MAS belongs to the Fulanis of MAS as much as it does to all the other tribes in MAS.

I was even happy when I met him and Nafisa because even though there are a lot of Nigerians on Clubhouse there actually aren’t that many Fulanis.

That’s how I entered that room that day because I saw Gajo there only to hear with my two koro koro ears how he’s listing all the people he can happily kill over blasphemy!

That was the day I blocked Gajo.
And that too is also how so many acquaintanceships and even friendships in Nigeria have quietly ended.

Gajo if you see this, please change your ways.

Don’t go and become a murderer because of one sandblasted overblown cult from the deserts of Saudi Arabia.

Your ancestors had their own Gods they were worshipping.

Any religion that is about to cause you to commit murder, CUT IT OFF MERCILESSLY!

[Adedayo Agarau @adedayoagarau]

I personally want Obi as Nigeria’s president so people can see that you can be upright, be respectful, be a Nigerian, be law-abiding, have no criminal case and still win in Nigeria. Obi’s presidency is good for Nigeria’s moral compass.