Dylan

[Dylan @DylHowe]

@FlyFrontier hey besties can I please speak to a human being ❤️🥺❤️

[Dylan @DylHowe]

@FlyFrontier oops you're ignoring me and you're losing business 🤷🏼‍♂️

[Dylan @DylHowe]

When you can predict how every rep from @FlyFrontier is going to respond because you've been dealing with it for three weeks

[Dylan @DylHowe]

Hey @FlyFrontier care to explain why your customer service team has ghosted me for three weeks after you lost our bags? I've now spent over 5 hours on your online chat only to be told there's no way to contact the actual people I need to talk to

[Dylan @DylHowe]

@FlyFrontier lost my baggage flying from DCA to San Diego. Hi Frontier customer service Twitter, please help us out

[Dylan @DylHowe]

@Ginscoe You are a fantasy writer bbgrl

[Dylan @DylHowe]

@kushaanshah The low harmony is more interesting anyways 🤷🏼‍♂️

[Dylan @DylHowe]

@jurosee My political party affiliation is Bo Burnham

[Hillary Clinton @HillaryClinton]

Found in the archives...

[Ari Berman @AriBerman]

A president who got 2.9 million fewer votes is being protected by a Senate majority where Republicans got 12 million fewer votes than Democrats in 2018

[Alec @Alec_D1]

@BetoORourke Lmao, ask your buddies for some cash:

[Dylan @DylHowe]

If we're to learn anything from Mambo No. 5 it's that Lou Bega is just really into white girls.

[Dylan @DylHowe]

It's currently 83.86 degrees in Washington DC

[Dylan @DylHowe]

Test tweeting from the Twitter API

[Dylan @DylHowe]

And for my grand return to Twitter after a 3-year hiatus, I'd like to remind everyone that Busta Rhymes was the voice actor for the Reptar Wagon in The Rugrats Movie.

[Dylan @DylHowe]

Going to the bar in your hometown is like watching the track your life would have gone down if you had dropped out of high school

[Dylan @DylHowe]

And thus begins the season of "What the hell is this white boy doing wearing shorts it's 30 degrees out."

[Dylan @DylHowe]

@jurosee can you hop off I'm tryna win a sweater

[Nick Martucci @BlunderingIdiom]

Birth control?
BAN IT!
Abortion?
BAN IT!
Gay marriage?
BAN IT!
Guns?
Look, banning things never works. People will find ways to get them.

[Dylan @DylHowe]

Caricatures are great if you're ever wondering which of your physical insecurities are the most glaringly obvious to a stranger