dylan swiggle

I am a garbage man

[dylan swiggle @DylanSwiggle]

This might be the best tweet of all time

[dylan swiggle @DylanSwiggle]

Indiana jones and the great circle? More like indiana groans in the boner circle am i right? #IndianaJonesAndTheGreatCircle

[dylan swiggle @DylanSwiggle]

Hey @RegalMovies if a movie starts at 230 maybe start it then and not after 30 minutes of commercials. Dicks

[dylan swiggle @DylanSwiggle]

Looks like someone has a date

[dylan swiggle @DylanSwiggle]

I will accept no response as a yes and also i will accept yes as a yes

[wint @dril]

"we dont deserve dogs" of course we deserve dogs shit head. before we bred the evil out of them they were basically giant rats

[dylan swiggle @DylanSwiggle]

Just when you think you can take no more and you should end it all god come down and gives you TWO FOR ONE SLIMJIMS OUT THE VENDING MACHINE! LETS FUCKIN GO BABY!

[dylan swiggle @DylanSwiggle]

How can every weather person suck so bad at their jobs, but they just get to keep them?

[dylan swiggle @DylanSwiggle]

Lol i spelt poll wrong

[dylan swiggle @DylanSwiggle]

Why can't i vote on my own poles? It aint gonna get no fuckin votes nobody ever looks at my damn tweets @elonmusk can you let me vote on my own poles?

[dylan swiggle @DylanSwiggle]

Was this tweet too far

[dylan swiggle @DylanSwiggle]

Story of my life in 1 pic

[Sonic the Hedgehog @sonic_hedgehog]

Happy Birthday, Grimace!

[dylan swiggle @DylanSwiggle]

If you mow wearing pants and not shorts you are a degenerate and deserve to die

[Paint @Roach_Collector]

sometimes i get so angry while thinking about modern SpongeBob and the flanderization of Patrick Star that i have to take this revolver out of my desk and grip it really tight for a few minutes until i calm down

[dylan swiggle @DylanSwiggle]

The Sopranos really fucked up not having Tony Soprano hallucinate a mac and cheese version of himself called Macaroni Soprano

[dylan swiggle @DylanSwiggle]

If you are a true patriotic American, you will cut off all your fingers and mail them to the White House. #BLACKPINKinMexico

[dylan swiggle @DylanSwiggle]

Dear @cheezit i have been getting entirely too many cheez-its with no salt on them. Now im not blaming you personally, but i am EXTREMELY upset about it. Anyway i just want you to make that little talking cheeze man get it together and make him do a better job cooking. Thank you

[Aamon Hawk @AamonHawk]

I can see why they deleted this scene from RE4R

[dylan swiggle @DylanSwiggle]

Anyone else play kirby goes to detroit?