Eeny Meeny Miney Mo

Parent-Child Trauma, Coerced Attachment and Alienating Behaviours

[Amanda Sillars 🇦🇺 @amandasillars]

Too often, crucial decisions impacting children are based on brief interviews that fail to capture the intricate dynamics of family relationships, especially during separation or divorce. This is why I created the @EMMMFoundation Practitioner Series. Instead of relying on superficial evaluations, this series provides a robust framework – the 6P's Model – for understanding the complex factors influencing child alignment or rejection. It challenges the status quo of rushed assessments and promotes a more thorough, ethical approach. This resource equips professionals to make informed recommendations that truly prioritise children's well-being. A companion guide focused on assessing children using the 6P model will be released soon. Download the Practitioner Series now and join the movement for better family assessments: https://t.co/O8KBGXP6Nq

[Eeny Meeny Miney Mo @EMMMFoundation]

When we see self-appointed educators in the family court system claiming to be experts, we create more infographics to dismantle the disinformation.

[Eeny Meeny Miney Mo @EMMMFoundation]

Children and teens should feel safe and free to enjoy time with both parents without being watched, questioned, or monitored. Sadly, parents who engage in alienating behaviours often invade their child’s privacy, making them feel like they’re under constant scrutiny.
#alienation

[Eeny Meeny Miney Mo @EMMMFoundation]

To learn more about grandparent alienation: https://t.co/FsZJD8iruM

[Eeny Meeny Miney Mo @EMMMFoundation]

⏳💔 Alienation cuts generations apart. For grandparents, time is running out. Their grief is often invisible, unrecognised & without closure. For children, time stretches ahead, but with missing pieces. They may not realise what they’ve lost until it’s too late.
#family

[Eeny Meeny Miney Mo @EMMMFoundation]

Infosheet for Young People
Why Do People Say Things That Aren't True?
@amandasillars
https://t.co/Ej3ZyYEM4E

[Eeny Meeny Miney Mo @EMMMFoundation]

This Christmas, our hearts go out to families experiencing the deep pain of being kept apart from their children. We recognise the longing for connection, the hope for healthy relationships, and the challenges this situation creates for everyone involved.

[Eeny Meeny Miney Mo @EMMMFoundation]

Children thrive when they have healthy relationships with both parents. Protective parenting safeguards their well-being, while alienating behaviours can harm their emotional health. @AmandaSillars
#family #children #psychology #mentalhealth #coercivecontrol #familylaw

[Amanda Sillars 🇦🇺 @amandasillars]

💥💣🥸 This might ruffle some feathers among those spreading misinformation about parental alienation. After years of witnessing the patterns, it’s time to shed light on some truths. 👉 https://t.co/KsO5LI55oF

#parentalalienation #parentalalienatingbehaviours #family #research #strawmanfallacy #family

@MarkDreyfusKCMP @AIFS_gov_au @PacificaCong @AustHumanRights @UNHumanRights @australian @FCFCOA

[Amanda Sillars 🇦🇺 @amandasillars]

Imagine a child suddenly losing contact with one side of their family—parents, grandparents, even close cousins. This happens every day due to trauma, coerced attachment, and alienating behaviours, where the goal is to erase the other side. It’s a form of control that uses the child as a tool for manipulation, leaving deep emotional wounds. @EMMMFoundation
#coercivecontrol #trauma #alienatingbehaviours #family #emmmfoundation #emmm2024

[Amanda Sillars 🇦🇺 @amandasillars]

The @APA highlights how psychological factors like emotional appeal and repetition make us vulnerable to accepting misinformation as truth. This is especially important to consider in parent-child dynamics and discussions around complex family issues, such as the misrepresentation of family members or parent-child coercion, emotional manipulation and parental alienating behaviours.
Stay vigilant and critically evaluate the information we encounter to stop misinformation before it spreads. @FCFCOA @aifs_gov_au
https://t.co/S3UdQMzzCe

[Amanda Sillars 🇦🇺 @amandasillars]

HALF-TRUTHS AND MANIPULATION
My article explores a complex family dynamic where one parent systematically undermines their child's relationship with the other parent through manipulative and coercive behaviours. A key tactic employed is the use of half-truths – selective information, distorted facts and omissions designed to create a negative narrative about the targeted parent or other family members.

The child, caught in this difficult position, faces a fear of punishment for expressing positive feelings towards the other parent, leading to internal conflict and distorted thinking. These manipulative patterns can extend beyond the family unit, with the coercive parent spreading their skewed narratives to friends, professionals, and even courts, further damaging the targeted parent's reputation.

Exposure to this dynamic can have lasting negative consequences for the child, impacting their emotional well-being and ability to form healthy relationships in the future. Interventions are crucial to address these complex situations and protect children's emotional health.

https://t.co/qUbgEL3mZO

[Eeny Meeny Miney Mo @EMMMFoundation]

SAVE $21 on Understanding and Managing Parental Alienation: A Guide to Assessment and Intervention. By Dr Janet Haines, Dr Mandy Matthewson and Hon. Judge Marcus Turnbull @FCFCOA
🔗 https://t.co/HNShjOuIIg

[Eeny Meeny Miney Mo @EMMMFoundation]

@amandasillars 🤍🤍🤍

[Amanda Sillars 🇦🇺 @amandasillars]

Parental alienating behaviours often involve #cognitivedistortions — unhelpful and inaccurate ways of thinking — that significantly impact the child’s psychological well-being. These distortions create confusion and emotional distress, leading to potential psychological disorders if left unaddressed. As children internalise these distorted thought patterns, they may adopt negative and biased ways of thinking that can affect their emotional health and relationships.
This list details common cognitive distortions seen in children influenced by parental alienating behaviours. Identifying these patterns is essential for understanding their effects and providing effective interventions to support the child's mental health. https://t.co/MOTpMMpKMt

[Amanda Sillars 🇦🇺 @amandasillars]

Alienated Child Insights
"Don't call me ever again" can also mean the child is experiencing emotional pain and expressing it through anger. They may feel conflicted and unsure about their emotions and loyalties, leading to confusion. The child might be fearful of repercussions from the alienating parent if they maintain contact, causing them to say hurtful things out of fear. They could be echoing words they have been coerced to say, reflecting manipulation rather than their true feelings. The child might be pushing away to test if the parent will still love them unconditionally, indicating they are testing boundaries. Feeling overwhelmed, the child may need space to process their emotions. They might not fully grasp the situation or the long-term impact of their words, leading to a lack of understanding.

Guilt can also play a significant role, as the child may feel guilty for talking to the targeted parent and use harsh words as a coping mechanism. The child might distort the truth to align with the alienating parent's narrative, telling half-truths. They could also lie to avoid conflict with or punishment from the alienating parent, trying to appease them. Showing love or admiration for the targeted parent brings pressure on the child, making them feel caught between conflicting loyalties. Additionally, the targeted parent's emotional reactions can add to the child's pressure, overwhelming them with emotions they find difficult to manage. @EMMMFoundation

[Amanda Sillars 🇦🇺 @amandasillars]

Children in parent-child alienation dynamics live a ‘normal’ that is far from normal. They don’t see their own pain and losses, their brainwashed thoughts or the blatant disregard for their well-being and human rights. This silent tragedy demands our attention.

[Amanda Sillars 🇦🇺 @amandasillars]

CO-PARENTING INTERACTIONS
In the co-parenting journey, it's essential to remember that our actions and interactions profoundly impact our children's well-being. Healthy co-parenting nurtures a supportive, respectful environment, enhancing their confidence and emotional security.
On the other hand, negative co-parenting can create anxiety and confusion, undermining their sense of stability. We can ensure our children thrive despite the challenges by prioritising open communication, mutual support and respect for each other’s roles. @EMMMFoundation

[Amanda Sillars 🇦🇺 @amandasillars]

The article compares messages to an alienated child to tiles in a mosaic, each contributing to the overall picture of the parent-child relationship. Key points include:
🔴Send messages with unconditional love and no expectations.
🔵Present messages calmly and consistently, focusing on the child's well-being.
🟠 Practice self-care to maintain emotional stability.
🟣Infuse messages with empathy and understanding.
🟡Over time, these messages create a heartfelt image of love and resilience, aiming to rebuild the relationship and find a new path forward together. @EMMMFoundation
https://t.co/KwbVN8HkBB

[Eeny Meeny Miney Mo @EMMMFoundation]

Thinking of all you momma bears, that are without your kin on Mother’s Day. Sending you love too. You’re not alone. 🤍 https://t.co/uuB7vqaTRS