Nobody tells you how hard it is to rewire your brain so you can allow amazing things to happen to you after so much trauma or hurt. Blessings exist, good people exist, a softer life exists. Let it happen.
People need to stop acting surprised when others pursue them while they are already in a relationship. Attraction does not disappear just because you are committed. Other people do not care what you and your partner are trying to build. If they want you, they will try to get you - And that exactly why it becomes your responsibility to shut the door before they ever feel welcome enough to enter. Because not replying is a choice, not entertaining is choice, not smiling back, flirting back, or allowing unnecessary closeness is a choice.
But many people leave the door slightly open because, they enjoy being desired by others while still wanting the safety of a relationship. Then they hide behind excuses like... "I was just being friendly." "I didn't want to be rude." Until the attention turns into attachment and the attachment turns into betrayal. Real loyalty is not passive... It is active discipline.
Underrated green flag in a man is simply allowing you the space to be a girl. They encourage you to be excited about the things you're passionate about, they don't get annoyed with you when you get a little emotional, they come home with a sweet treat, they don't rush you when you get ready. It's the little things lol.