Elizabeth Taylor

yes, like the actress... I AM CLEOPATRA!

[Elizabeth Taylor @E_Taylor123]

When I’m inspired the sexual tension between my clothes and I is unmatched.

[Elizabeth Taylor @E_Taylor123]

My life is an episode of punk’d @aplusk where are you. You can come out now.

[Elizabeth Taylor @E_Taylor123]

New middle school life hack: take melatonin before school, then you can either sleep or feel the high of fighting to stay awake. #middleschoolsux

[Elizabeth Taylor @E_Taylor123]

@mindykaling @thejustinnoble i know the vanilla version would be that Leighton becomes an anonymous scholarship donor but let’s make it spicy and put Kimberly on onlyfans #thesexlivesofcollegegirls

[Elizabeth Taylor @E_Taylor123]

Petition for Daniel Radcliffe to become the next young Austin Powers @HBO

[Elizabeth Taylor @E_Taylor123]

Dear meta-verse if you are going to tap my data at least make my life better.

[Elizabeth Taylor @E_Taylor123]

Wow I really do love my grandma. Always falling for my jokes. If you can’t tell the fish is a stuffed animal.

[Elizabeth Taylor @E_Taylor123]

As a breakfast server, there is nothing funnier than eavesdropping on banker bros talk about their girlfriends to their coworkers at 6am.

[Elizabeth Taylor @E_Taylor123]

Because I have my whole life to be an adult.

[Elizabeth Taylor @E_Taylor123]

Forever knowing that Sebastian Stan will never love me because I’m am much more a (Tom Holland) Spider-Man than a Captain America.

[my uncle’s meme stash @myunclesmemes]

Fucking stop paul.

[Elizabeth Taylor @E_Taylor123]

Literally no one: Me: um... can we get @dianasilvers13 to play a woodland elf?

[Elizabeth Taylor @E_Taylor123]

@anncatrad It’s life changing.

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

the plan? distribute a covid-19 vaccine through a team of trained mall santas by promising them they will get it first

[Lana @emarms18]

And finally, ** “The American people should have a voice in the selection of their next Supreme Court Justice. Therefore, this vacancy should not be filled until we have a new president.”
-- Mitch McConnell, March 2016

[Space @redditSpaceView]

One is #Mars, the other is California today

[Big Tucson Dad @BigTucsonDad]

Replace drunk history with baked science please I’m begging

[Death Star PR @DeathStarPR]

Defunding the Galactic Postal System because it doesn't make a profit. We will instead use the money to build an even bigger Death Star, which, okay yes, ALSO doesn't make a profit BUT fires a cool laser that blows stuff up really good.

[Dylan Sprouse @dylansprouse]

There's no more transparent an act of desperation than every beer company suddenly releasing a seltzer

[Elizabeth Taylor @E_Taylor123]

@celeloud Too kind