Dr. Education

I see through all bullshit in education. Obviously, I am better than you. Also, new ideas are clearly dumb.

[Dr. Education @EdChangeIsScary]

I’d be delighted to have an open-minded, civil conversation about how our ideas for education differ.
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Actually, that’s a lie. I’d rather just pompously deride any idea that doesn’t support my views.

#edchat #EduColor #tlap #leadupchat #betheone

[Dr. Education @EdChangeIsScary]

@realPBanksley @KPlows @EduCelebrity @company_ed @DebsGhost @no_principals @EDThoughtLeader I prefer 19th century skills. I mean, come on! All these new ideas in education are just too much to handle.

[Kate Plows @KPlows]

Almost-August Twitter: Create a list of #edsatire to turn early #backtoschool stress into giggles instead. It's an antidote.

Try: @EduCelebrity, @company_ed, @DebsGhost, @realPBanksley, @EdChangeisScary, @no_principals , @EDThoughtLeader, others.

[Dr. Education @EdChangeIsScary]

I don’t believe in the whole #kidsdeserveit thing. I mean, come on! Kids deserve what I think they deserve.

Mostly detentions and referrals and suspensions.

I mean, come on. I don’t care if they didn’t eat breakfast and barely got 6 hours of sleep. I expect perfect behavior.

[Dr. Education @EdChangeIsScary]

Principal: This year, I’d like us to all to focus on building relationships with our students. I think one way we could do that is to have us all greet our kids at the classroom door when they come in. What do you guys think?

Me:

[Dr. Education @EdChangeIsScary]

My #oneword this year is “Me”

I am the most important person in the classroom. My needs come first. My opinion is the only one that matters.

I just ordered my bracelet and can’t wait to make sure my students understand what it means.

#edchat #educhat #tlap

[Dr. Education @EdChangeIsScary]

Just heard that my admin wants us to work on incorporating more collaborative learning this year.

That means I can have students work together scrubbing desks during lunch as punishment for speaking out in class, right?

#edchat #educhat #tlap

[Dr. Education @EdChangeIsScary]

I think I will master the fine art of playing solitaire on my computer while scowling at students silently working at their desks this year.

Anyone want to work on this goal with me? We can be solitaire buddies!

[Dr. Education @EdChangeIsScary]

If I just wait out all these changes you are trying to make and undermine you at every opportunity, you will eventually move on to another school or give up on me.

#edchat #educhat

[Dr. Education @EdChangeIsScary]

@JeffWillets I will use paper until there isn’t a single tree left on the face of the earth.

And I won’t recycle a single piece of it.

Also, I’ve never written an email. Technology makes me angry.

[Dr. Education @EdChangeIsScary]

I’m so proud of myself. I already have all my copies made for the entire year. It’s going to be an easy year!

[Dr. Education @EdChangeIsScary]

If my contract states that staff meetings should end at 3:45, there is no way I am going to stay until 3:46 when you want to update us on the health status of a recently hospitalized student. I don’t care that they are in my class - I get to leave so you can just deal with it.

[Dr. Education @EdChangeIsScary]

Next thing you know, they’ll start forcing us to ACTUALLY care about kids instead of just pretending to care about them.

Will the micromanaging ever stop?

#edchat #EduGladiators #education #educhat #edutwitter

[Dr. Education @EdChangeIsScary]

@teachergoals @Joshua__Stamper Or we could just suspend them. Much easier to do that than change my approach

[Dr. Education @EdChangeIsScary]

@JDavidJo1 I suppose I can share my wisdom - as long as it requires no additional effort on my part.

[Dr. Education @EdChangeIsScary]

I’ve been practicing my scowl in preparation for the start of school. No smiling until at least November, right?

One of these years I’ll really perfect the craft of teaching and not smile once all year long.

#NoSmileChallenge #whoswithme #ap #edchat #educhat

[Dr. Education @EdChangeIsScary]

@JDavidJo1 I am leaning towards one giant packet. That way if they lose it I can berate them for irresponsibility even more.

[Dr. Education @EdChangeIsScary]

@KenSheck Life goals! In fact, I think I’ll just make double copies this year so I can use the exact same materials next year!

Why didn’t I think of that before?

[Dr. Education @EdChangeIsScary]

If I have to hear one more new teacher babble on and on about the interactive room transformation they are planning I might lose my cool.

Just stop. You are making all of us traditionalists look bad and I don’t like that.

#edchat #satchat #newteacherjourney #edutwitter

[Dr. Education @EdChangeIsScary]

@TheresaShadrix Don’t worry. I’ll just mock you incessantly until your spirit is broken and you quit out of frustration.

[Dr. Education @EdChangeIsScary]

@day_dean @english_maven Or just not build relationships. That works too.