Evan Edelman

[Evan Edelman @EdelPenny]

Having a hunch about a back and having a hunchback is the difference between being an intuitive orthopedist and being an usher at a minor league baseball game

[Pete Kennedy @PeteKennedyy]

@EdelPenny A wise man once told me "sometimes you gotta 💩 yourself to get some chicken. You'll have to clean your pants. But now you have chicken"

I think that applies here

[Evan Edelman @EdelPenny]

@PeteKennedyy Truly prophetic

[Evan Edelman @EdelPenny]

@JJ_McCullough Saw that in my recommended this morning. I’ll give it a watch thanks for the recommendation!

[Evan Edelman @EdelPenny]

@RepMann Meet Mr Beat!!

[SNY @SNYtv]

Brock Nelson, Ryan Pulock and Simon Holmstrom scored in the Islanders' 3-0 win over the Capitals https://t.co/GleQaLtmiH

[Evan Edelman @EdelPenny]

@benaveryisgood How many hours a day do you read?

[Evan Edelman @EdelPenny]

@PeteKennedyy 13

[Evan Edelman @EdelPenny]

@PeteKennedyy My fiancées name is Shaune Marx which is pronounced the same as Sean Marks

[Evan Edelman @EdelPenny]

@PeteKennedyy Correct again

[Evan Edelman @EdelPenny]

@PeteKennedyy This is a confusing hypothetical considering Daniel jones’ legacy of dominating at this level

[Evan Edelman @EdelPenny]

You’re not a dad until your shortcut adds 10 minutes on Google Maps

[Evan Edelman @EdelPenny]

Conspiracy theory: planes were invented to sell more neck pillows.

[Evan Edelman @EdelPenny]

I wonder what Newton had to say about how dogs always poop twice when you’re down to your last bag.

[Evan Edelman @EdelPenny]

Without much brainstorming, a dogs solution to catch a squirrel is to loudly and clumsily run straight at it

[Evan Edelman @EdelPenny]

Literally every Harvard professor could start saying “supposebly” tomorrow and we’d all have to start saying it that way but they don’t have the GUTS

[Evan Edelman @EdelPenny]

Probably not intentional but the invention of eyes made e-mail much more plausible.

[Evan Edelman @EdelPenny]

One of my most passionate beliefs, a belief that most people evidently disagree with, is that you shouldn’t just stop walking when going down public stairs.

[Evan Edelman @EdelPenny]

Nuts were invented to trick people into eating raisins.

[Andy Zou @YoAndyZou]

Seinfeld Today: Elaine spends six hours in a testing line, Jerry finds his new girlfriend less attractive with a mask off, George attends an anti-vax rally so he can get "super-immunity," and Kramer hoards rapid tests.