Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼

Canadian girl 🇨🇦💁 burrito ❤️'er 🌯, 🐶 dog enthusiast🐕, Professional drug peddler 💊💉.

[Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼 @EhSassyPrincess]

If internet explorer is brave enough to ask you to be your Default Browser, you should be brave enough to ask that girl out. 💁‍♀️

[Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼 @EhSassyPrincess]

“We are the only mammal that drinks milk other then our mothers. That’s not natural”

Me: “I’m pretty sure that grande double espresso extra whip pumpkin spice latte isn’t “natural” so we all have to make some life changes Karen...”

[Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼 @EhSassyPrincess]

White girl starter pack:
-uggs
-Starbucks
-20+ make up products that do nothing
-black leggings
#yourwelcome

[Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼 @EhSassyPrincess]

Dating apps are like going to the zoo: it’s cool to see all the creatures but meeting up with some of them would be terrifying.

[Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼 @EhSassyPrincess]

Boss: “you have been late 3 times this week, do you know what that means?”
Me: “it’s only Wednesday ?”

[Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼 @EhSassyPrincess]

I feel like I already know which way my “get rich or die trying” life style is going towards...

[Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼 @EhSassyPrincess]

First date: “I’ll have a ice water and lettuce wedges”

Tenth date: “I’ll take a XL cheese pizza with extra cheese, what do you want hun?”

[Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼 @EhSassyPrincess]

Complementing a woman:

1950- “my dear you look absolutely beautiful”

2018- “DAYM GIRL! Your a snack, (3 heart eye emoji and 5 fire emojis)”

[Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼 @EhSassyPrincess]

Coworker: “ do you ever think about work at home?”
Me: “I barely think about work at work”

[Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼 @EhSassyPrincess]

—-Breakroom—-
Coworker: “what’s for lunch?”
Me: (while eating) “food, generally”
Coworker: “no, what are you having”
Me: “an unwanted conversation “

[Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼 @EhSassyPrincess]

Some coworkers clearly have not taken their smart pills today...

[Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼 @EhSassyPrincess]

Me: “sir, is it the pill that is white and shaped like an octagon?”

Patient: “NO! It’s white and is a square with the corners cut off!”

Me: 😒🤦‍♀️

[Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼 @EhSassyPrincess]

I’m starting to realize I run on caffeine, sarcasm, and inappropriate thoughts. 🤷‍♀️

[Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼 @EhSassyPrincess]

I’m pretty sure I could die and my work would get a Ouija board to see if I covered my shift... 😒

[Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼 @EhSassyPrincess]

Shout out to all those who made it thru the day without a nap!

Pulled an all day-er, and boy was it tough.

[Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼 @EhSassyPrincess]

My goal was to lose 10 lbs by summer... I only have 15 to go!

[Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼 @EhSassyPrincess]

“You CAN even”

-white girl life coach

[Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼 @EhSassyPrincess]

1998: in 20 years we will have flying cars.

2018: we LITERALLY have to tell people not to eat Tide Pods.

[Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼 @EhSassyPrincess]

I need new habits that don’t involve my debit card

[Eh Very Sassy 👸🏼 @EhSassyPrincess]

I hate when I lose stuff at work. Like pens, sticky notes, highlighters, sharpies, sanity, my will to live...