David Paes

A dose of insanity to an otherwise moronic existence, coupled with cheese and blue things. Allergic to grass, small things and sympathy

[David Paes @ElPaeso]

WTF is WRONG with us?!

[David Paes @ElPaeso]

Me: Leave it alone!
Her:*not leaving it alone* I'm leaving it alone!

[David Paes @ElPaeso]

CHILD: "I wanna talk about us"
GIRL CHILD: "..."
CHILD: "Take your earphones out"
GIRL CHILD: "THEY'RE FUCKING OUT!"

#79bus

[David Paes @ElPaeso]

I'll buy an Mr Whippy van. Put heroin in the ice cream. Guaranteed customer loyalty. Easy money cos Dave sells the best ice cream

[David Paes @ElPaeso]

Indiana Jones: IRAaiders of the Lost Ark #makeafilmthinkitsirish

[David Paes @ElPaeso]

Seriously, the fuck's this heat?!

[David Paes @ElPaeso]

Twirling a stick above my head like a helicopter, pan pipes playing from somewhere, I fly to wherever the wind takes me.

[David Paes @ElPaeso]

Erm...alright Flora...

[David Paes @ElPaeso]

@UberFacts it's Gimli, you fucking heathen!

[David Paes @ElPaeso]

I saw a cyclist break two rules of the road, where's my forum for righteous anger?

[David Paes @ElPaeso]

There's a Scottish footballer called Jason Scotland, deffo the next Braveheart.

[David Paes @ElPaeso]

Outrage at the Scottish Championship play-offs as a yellow card is given for foul language...such irony

[David Paes @ElPaeso]

A new idea amongst convention, like a nasty bout of wind, is both hidden and deadly... #modernmidnightphilosoper

[David Paes @ElPaeso]

@ThomasCarty27 full of protein and iron, perfect for growing lads

[David Paes @ElPaeso]

Either that's his dad picking him up, or I just saw a school kid get arrested #netherleylife

[David Paes @ElPaeso]

I styled my beard because I'm a strong, independent adult but then shaved it all off because I'm a self conscious teen with a complex. Muhh

[David Paes @ElPaeso]

@ElPaeso spelt Greizmann wrong; not even arsed....

[David Paes @ElPaeso]

@ElPaeso Petit, not Manu, I meant Petit...

[David Paes @ElPaeso]

Greissman looks a bit like Jesse Pinkerman

[David Paes @ElPaeso]

Manu wants to be there and Lennon backed France to win the world cup...great pundits, itv4...hopefully the game's better than that!