Elfish Witch

*warning contains foul language*

In another life I was burnt at the stake, in this life I'm still smouldering.
My happy place is your happy place burning down.

[Elfish Witch @ElfishBitch]

@WhoresofYore ..

[Elfish Witch @ElfishBitch]

@HumansNoContext Excuse me! If your hair goes over my screen one more time I'm going to yank your head so far down I can trap your hair in my table. If you want to block my view let's have you do it properly but with some entertainment for me, since I lose the use of my TV.
#staytoxic

[Elfish Witch @ElfishBitch]

@RojParody They're all rescues you know they needed liberating from the teeny pots

[Elfish Witch @ElfishBitch]

@RojParody Hahaha only 10!
That's if I'm in a rush 😛

[Elfish Witch @ElfishBitch]

Fun, sustainable fashion with plastic free packaging.

[Lifestyleofthewitchandunfamous @Witch_Unfamous]

Take me to your feeder tee.
Do you like fun designs?
Do you like sustainable fashion?
Do you want plastic free packaging?
Then check out the link below...
https://t.co/JiXSWs64hq
#CatsOfTwitter #Caturday #catlovers #sustainablefashion #plasticfreepackaging #tshirtshop #tshirt

[Elfish Witch @ElfishBitch]

@RojParody Absofuckinglutely it's for me !
L O V E I T !

[Samaritans @samaritans]

Damon has been a dedicated Samaritans’ volunteer at Stafford branch since 2017. When doing outreach work, he made an intervention and helped a man at a station. You can read his full story here 👉 https://t.co/K9IQBFzVrr #SmallTalkSavesLives 💚

[Elfish Witch @ElfishBitch]

If I had a pound for every time you swore I'd be a millionaire.

If I had a pound for every time you pissed me off, I'd put them in a sock and smack you around the head with it.

[Elfish Witch @ElfishBitch]

The moment when the server finally dies at work after its threatened it all day and you swear and swear and swear before realising you're not at the office so don't have to deal with it.

[Elfish Witch @ElfishBitch]

@EllesarCoamenel Put the shitters up them by erecting a square of "police line do not cross" tape around your sleeping patch.

[Elfish Witch @ElfishBitch]

@EllesarCoamenel

[Elfish Witch @ElfishBitch]

What's the protocol for when next doors minge maggots keep chasing the neighbourhood cats into the land when cars are coming? I mean can I legally drown them in the pond or do I just throw them into traffic?

[Elfish Witch @ElfishBitch]

I am snufkin hear me... run away at the thought of social situations and can often be found just laying in the tall grass hoping not to be found.

[Elfish Witch @ElfishBitch]

@EllesarCoamenel Or how persuasive although I'd happily let the sidhe kidnap me if it meant a life of tranquility in a forest 🤔

[Elfish Witch @ElfishBitch]

@EllesarCoamenel Don't accept food or gifts if anyone walks out of there lol

[Elfish Witch @ElfishBitch]

Had mild panic on finding out I am lactose intolerant. I say mild but I actually cried at the gp thinking about all the lovely cheese I won't be able to eat, but apparently its only milk that makes me projectile vomit so hurrah.
Tbf milk can get in the bin but cheese is life.

[Elfish Witch @ElfishBitch]

@EllesarCoamenel He tried to discover
A little something to make me sweeter

[Elfish Witch @ElfishBitch]

@EllesarCoamenel Andy Bell had blue leather arseless chaps on and a feather boa

[Elfish Witch @ElfishBitch]

Why is it so hard to find a sodding pencil in this house?
The house that is full of writing implements in every shade, every hue and every bloody medium .. except a bog standard pencil 🤬