Elias Schwartzman

Violinist, fiddler, freelance musician and music teacher. Semi-feral apprentice luthier and archetier.

[Elias Schwartzman @Elias_Redbeard]

@mseverbloom @christophertin @WMGSO What a glorious, enormous sound

[Christopher Tin @christophertin]

What a moment. Teaching a thousand people your new ending to one of the world's greatest operas, then having them sing it back to you. Huge thanks to the @WMGSO, and soloists Colleen Daly and Carl Tanner, & extra special thanks to @WashNatOpera for commissioning this new ending.

[Elias Schwartzman @Elias_Redbeard]

@zuza_real These are the apps keeping you from making babies. Got it.

[Elias Schwartzman @Elias_Redbeard]

@SpeciousCall @uppertunist @Chiquita Your alveoli will get destroyed :D

[Elias Schwartzman @Elias_Redbeard]

@ThatViolinChick @NegaGrier i don't think it's possible to overstate how repulsive f4f energy is

[mothman @mothmanbot]

Mothman is real and is eating a full 1lb block of cheddar from your fridge at 3 am.

[mothman @mothmanbot]

Mothman is real and helped save Blair Mountain.

[Elias Schwartzman @Elias_Redbeard]

@ParkerOhmygod @nihilist_arbys Chemical burns can cauterize as well as fire c;

[Elias Schwartzman @Elias_Redbeard]

@ThatViolinChick Wait, is makeup how I stop getting those comments?

[CALL TO ACTIVISM @CalltoActivism]

BREAKING — If Democrats pass their voting rights bill, Matt Gaetz says Republicans will “never win another election again.”

Raise your hand if that sounds great! ✋😂

[Elias Schwartzman @Elias_Redbeard]

@ThatViolinChick My favorite solution to this is to install geared pegs :p

[Elias Schwartzman @Elias_Redbeard]

@CyanideTeacups @divahkiiin Cashews is the correct answer

[Elias Schwartzman @Elias_Redbeard]

@doedeclare Beautiful update to a classic. 10/10

[Elias Schwartzman @Elias_Redbeard]

@cc_kinnick with GameStop it's unclear to me that anyone other than major hedge funds are seriously hurt (yet). the folks on the winning end of these trades are mostly small retail traders, anyone currently long who doesn't sell here deserves to give back their winnings to the hedge funds

[Elias Schwartzman @Elias_Redbeard]

@cc_kinnick lots of ways short selling can work - through contracts involving actual stocks changing hands or via derivatives. it's legal because someone convinced regulators that letting people gamble on markets both directions increases market efficiency and is good for capitalism

[Elias Schwartzman @Elias_Redbeard]

@doedeclare Congrats!!

[Nihilist Arby's @nihilist_arbys]

Remember that here on election night (very heated!), on an infinite timeline, your life is not even a blip. You’re already dead. Your concerns mean nothing no matter who kills you.

Please enjoy Arby’s

[Elias Schwartzman @Elias_Redbeard]

@HunnyPlumuwu Cri

[Elias Schwartzman @Elias_Redbeard]

@TVCTwitch Hello.

My name is Elias

You killed my life and my life

Prepare to be in a good mood for a few days.

[Nihilist Arby's @nihilist_arbys]

Whether you die at the hands of violent paramilitary cops, in the wildfires, of Covid or just from a little good old fashioned night of too much gin and speed, remember: nobody cares and very soon no one will remember you were ever even alive.

Eat Arby’s