Emily Vassallo

I like to think I'm fabulous. Life is constantly correcting me. All views my own (and, as a rule, ridiculous)

[Bec Shaw @Brocklesnitch]

My entire knowledge of Connecticut and anyone from there is literally only my childhood friends Kristy, Dawn, Mary Anne, Claudia and Stacey

[Larry the Cat @Number10cat]

@Nigel_Farage Why have you changed the colour of our national flag? You've previously complained about others doing that:

[Emily Vassallo @EmilyAnne_Jones]

@ashley_quan @1followernodad Ah for me it’s every time I have a sore throat I think “maybe I have Glandular Fever like Mallory in the Babysitters Club”

[SHANE REACTION @imshanereaction]

Budget Day is to Martin Lewis what the Eurovision Song Contest is to gays.

[tré easton @treeaston]

my god. just…my god.

[villains enthusiast @aemondseyepatch]

made a classic romcom movie poster for 'Chicken Shop Date' starring Andrew Garfield and Amelia Dimoldenberg, because I can’t get enough of this interview

[BladeoftheSun @BladeoftheS]

This woman knows what she is talking about, get her elected.

[☁️ crazyaussie ⸆⸉ ☁️ @newmangirl85]

@midnight_nanda I mean we all danced along to murder on the dance floor but no one was actually dying. Sometimes it’s literally just a song & nothing deeper

[Nick Tyrone @NicholasTyrone]

“No boomers fought in WWII” is not a controversial take but a statement of fact, particularly given the generation is named after the “baby boom”’which took place once the war was over.

[Emily Vassallo @EmilyAnne_Jones]

@baddestmamajama As a girl born in 1988 my standard exaggeration joke is I have two friends and they’re both called Charlotte.

The truth is I have 5 friends and they’re called Charlotte, Charlotte, Lucy, Lucy and Laura.

[cara @mcfcara]

"they're stealing our jobs" you're literally rioting at 1pm on a wednesday, what job could you possibly have???

[Pundamentalism @Pundamentalism]

England have never missed a penalty under Keir Starmer.

[Luke @lukeaaronmoore]

France are there for the taking but Portugal can’t take them out because a 39 year old manchild is threatening to take his ball home if he can’t play every minute

[Tom Coates @tomcoates]

What infuriates me about Rowling’s scaremongering is how completely ignorant of the law it is. There is literally no law in the UK whatsoever to stop straight non-trans men entering and using women’s bathrooms *right now*. There never has been such a law.

[Mollie Goodfellow @hansmollman]

Sorry but I think about the magic run of BBC Two 6pm when you were getting The Simpsons, The Fresh Prince, Malcolm in the Middle, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Robot Wars all the time

[Colin the Dachshund @DachshundColin]

Can someone record this for Sunak's parents?

[Emily Vassallo @EmilyAnne_Jones]

@KyeSutton @PreyGame Never forget!