eharmony boigah

please don't roast me for being a gemini i can't help it. she/her

[eharmony boigah @EmilyTheBerger]

@pigeonbussy As you should

[eharmony boigah @EmilyTheBerger]

Most of my friends are hotties with IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and I know this because they ABS (always be shitting)

[eharmony boigah @EmilyTheBerger]

At an engineering brainstorming meeting today

Coworker: You know a lot about paraffin wax, did you take a lot of chemistry courses in college?
Me:

[eharmony boigah @EmilyTheBerger]

My advice for working corporate is to find and befriend the IT person with the most piercings and tattoos. They will be your light in the darkness

[eharmony boigah @EmilyTheBerger]

ISO someone to officiate my wedding who is willing to end the ceremony with
"Ooga booga big
Ooga booga scary
You are now
Ooga booga married"

[eharmony boigah @EmilyTheBerger]

I'm gonna become a beat saber streamer but my streams are gonna be me playing two songs then sitting down for 20 minutes because I got dizzy

[eharmony boigah @EmilyTheBerger]

I don’t understand how chameleons work

[eharmony boigah @EmilyTheBerger]

Emotionally attached to this cat from my Spanish lessons

[eharmony boigah @EmilyTheBerger]

A weird Tiktok niche that I'm really into is livestreams of 3d printing because NOT ONCE have I seen one that wasn't horrendously failing. The filament is always everywhere and chat is blowing up like "ayo that doesn't look right" and the host is nowhere to be found

[eharmony boigah @EmilyTheBerger]

Almost got hit by a bright orange Jeep with Montana plates today. They were driving exactly like you would expect someone to drive a bright orange Jeep with Montana plates

[eharmony boigah @EmilyTheBerger]

bubblegum bitch dada daaaa dada daaaa

[eharmony boigah @EmilyTheBerger]

amalgamation of worm

[eharmony boigah @EmilyTheBerger]

You know the pool game Taxi? The kids are calling it Uber now and I am O L D

[eharmony boigah @EmilyTheBerger]

Chatting with the gay barista at a Starbucks in your hometown has the same energy as making new friends on the playground when you were 7

[eharmony boigah @EmilyTheBerger]

Listen... just give me an option when I'm booking an appointment to have absolutely no one talk to me. I've forgotten how to small talk and don't care to relearn how

[eharmony boigah @EmilyTheBerger]

Having parents from small Midwest towns is so funny. I told my mom that I drive past Paisley Park to go to work and from her reaction you'd think I had told her that Prince himself descended from heaven to hand me a record deal

[eharmony boigah @EmilyTheBerger]

My math students all know Harry Potter and have never heard of Lilo and Stitch. One student asked me if I was in my thirties. What a day

[eharmony boigah @EmilyTheBerger]

I'm currently reviewing geometry and listening to One Direction. Absolutely no character development in the past ten years. Somebody fire the writers

[eharmony boigah @EmilyTheBerger]

I was really impressed that my fiancé's name was spelled correctly in my grandpa's obituary until my sister told me it was misspelled in the original. Net zero, I guess