Emily Parker

[Keion @Keionisbored]

Eating food as an American is so depressing because everyday it's like "did you know that thing you've been eating since you were 6 is a class 1 carcinogen and illegal in 87 countries"

[Emily Parker @Emilylucillee]

Friday the 13th has gone too far

[Spotify Status @SpotifyStatus]

Something’s not quite right, and we’re looking into it. Thanks for your reports!

[Emily Parker @Emilylucillee]

My current thoughts while on maternity leave:

[Dominic Lipscombe @DomLip94]

Quite enjoyed me time off over Christmas. Shall we all quit our jobs

[Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4]

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

[Emily Parker @Emilylucillee]

It’s another social media app for me

[maybe: clare @clur19]

If Find My Friends sent a notification every time I looked at everyone’s locations I think my friends would have me institutionalized

[Emily Parker @Emilylucillee]

Great American is the superior cookie company

[Emily Parker @Emilylucillee]

@hailee_lowe ❤️❤️❤️

[brie (46-62) @muttmoder]

yall should all get library cards even if ur not gonna use them because it makes the numbers look better and makes the government fund them more btw

[Leah Boxx @leahboxxx]

PLEASE I LOVE YOU #justicetourentry @BIEBERFEVER

[Emily Parker @Emilylucillee]

@katelynnluckett Where is the lie?

[Emily Parker @Emilylucillee]

@_youaremore_ Fair. I feel like grape tastes like cough medicine 🤣🥲

[Emily Parker @Emilylucillee]

@kylie_teagan The tunnel lights really bring it to life

[Emily Parker @Emilylucillee]

@_laren I loved when Kaitlyn responded and said “I don’t have any questions”

[Bre Saunders @BreeeSaunders]

Not all hero’s wear capes #TheBachelorette

[Emily Parker @Emilylucillee]

@farmers_wife18 2w3!

[¢orie @corietjohnson]

are u mad at me ??? this tweet is for everyone