Erik Varness

[Erik Varness @ErikVarness]

The answer to "Would you like a Grimace Shake?" is always Yes

[Erik Varness @ErikVarness]

There's a name for these funky clouds here in Peoria, I'm sure @NWSLincolnIL would know

[Erik Varness @ErikVarness]

@AmazingMattyP @AdamPlantinga Agree with Matt here. Lots of variables.

What breed of dog was it?

Did the tourney’s concession stand serve walking tacos?

Etc

[Erik Varness @ErikVarness]

Finally! Vindication of my strategy of always using “pzazz” as my first Wordle guess:

Wordle 670 1/6

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

[Erik Varness @ErikVarness]

@distracted_mom @gabbychatsworth It’s fine to moo

https://t.co/umDqPYUKvY

[Erik Varness @ErikVarness]

A couple things:

1. When you see a train, you say TRAIN! Out loud. Even if you're by yourself. Same with cows.
2. If you see a train with graffiti this awesome, you say SWEET! Same with cows.

[Erik Varness @ErikVarness]

Apparently it's warm enough for this guy to hit the trails at @WildlifePrairie. I can only assume she was attempting the 5 Mile Challenge.

[Erik Varness @ErikVarness]

@AdamPlantinga Next time maybe tell him to call Kenny Loggins cuz he’s about to enter the Danger Zone

[Erik Varness @ErikVarness]

Another Pro Tip for Fall: after kicking over your neighbor's Instagram-worthy pumpkin stack, leave a note explaining that it was an abomination. It's common courtesy.

[Erik Varness @ErikVarness]

Pro tip for Fall #2: don't wait until the last minute to hang up the deer skull you found in the woods. Put it up now so it gets nice and cobwebby

[Erik Varness @ErikVarness]

Pro tip for Fall: use the travel lid for your beverage holder to avoid a trip to the ER

[Erik Varness @ErikVarness]

If wearing a costume to your daughter's volleyball Senior Night is wrong, then I don't want to be right

[Erik Varness @ErikVarness]

@AdamPlantinga Ordering my “Normalize Light Weeding” t-shirt as we speak

[Erik Varness @ErikVarness]

@AmazingMattyP Because we’re not done with your colonoscopy yet, that’s why

[Erik Varness @ErikVarness]

@AmazingMattyP @AdamPlantinga The other obvious area being the availability of a wide range of snack foods at Menards

[Erik Varness @ErikVarness]

@AdamPlantinga Three words: Insulated fanny pack

[Erik Varness @ErikVarness]

It's a Wavy Guy Night, I think we can all agree on that

[Erik Varness @ErikVarness]

Even just looking in from the back, you can tell it's a real banger at the Onalaska Chuck E. Cheese tonight

[Erik Varness @ErikVarness]

@AdamPlantinga Tax attorney here, the sale itself should be reported as income but you can offset it with the expenses of the removal of the organ, along with reasonable ancillary costs. Probably best to set up a sole proprietorship, “Kidneys by Adam” or something similar.

[Erik Varness @ErikVarness]

@jon_bois Need some help answering this