Evan the Terrible

Philadelphia sports supremacist

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

i don't have to defend my coolness to any of you!
my cigarette-smokin', sunglassed-selfie profile picture does that for me.

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

who unfollowed me? i don't need you! I DON'T NEED ANYBODY!!!1

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

@mahaaaay i'd be out there like

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

@JDVance @MazMHussain "The President is merely the most important among a large number of public servants. He should be supported or opposed exactly to the degree which is warranted by his good or bad conduct." –Theodore Roosevelt (Editorial in The Kansas City Star, 1918).

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

@JDVance @MazMHussain they didn't have one when you goofballs started droppin bombs on em & were never as close as any of you (Whiskey Pete) said.

loving the country and hating the president are time-honored American traditions. pull your finger outta your ass.

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

@WHPressPool Josh Hokit got a 👶 🍆

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

@RGIII Josh Hokit got a 👶 🍆

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

Josh Hokit got a 👶 🍆

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

@College_and_Pro you're sayin a lot about yourself here. i bet ya pronounce it "iggles," don't ya?

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

it's #UFCFreedom250 at the #WhiteTrashHouse so of course Josh Hokit called Michelle Obama a man

i'd like to see dude fight a predator drone

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

how is #WhiteTrashHouse not trending?

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

there's a saying that goes, "politicians are like diapers; they should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons."

but politicians are also a lot like condoms in that they're really only there to provide a reasonable feeling of safety & security while you're getting fucked

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

@JClarkNBCS @amyfadoolNBCS 'attaboy!

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

@no_my_goodness nobody ever suspects the butterfly

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

@awlivv69 really just tryna find one that fits the hooptie. it's like the new PA "pay-it-forward" line.

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

i'm a fight fan, but i don't think i'ma be watchin the white trash house ufc event.

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

@no_my_goodness i bet this would've felt better before i had to calculate my net worth as a condition of my bankruptcy proceedings

still nice, tho

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

@govtcheese77 and ya just know it's gonna be real artsy because it started in black & white

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

@govtcheese77 huzzah!

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

shit, wrong app

[Evan the Terrible @EvanTKelly]

how to flirt with hot Pepsi girl