Evan Vest

Todays Hits And Yesterdays Favorites

[Evan Vest @EvanVestIsReal]

Dis my pinned tweet

[Evan Vest @EvanVestIsReal]

If I check my phone in the first five minutes, your show/movie sucks. Work harder for my attention span

[Evan Vest @EvanVestIsReal]

If you start playing table tennis because of Marty Supreme I hope your gym shorts fall down mid-backswing exposing your kissy-lips boxer shorts 💋

[Evan Vest @EvanVestIsReal]

This one definitely hits different today

[wint @dril]

so long suckers! i rev up my motorcylce and create a huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates im lying completely dead on the pavement

[Evan Vest @EvanVestIsReal]

Wow. RIP Wint/dril. His contributions to internet culture are legendary, to say the least. Hope you're not drafted into the skeleton war

[Evan Vest @EvanVestIsReal]

If you're looking at my page from the Patton oswalt re-tweet, I never use this app and only logged in to reach out to him because I thought he would like it. I'm on the other dumb apps tho. Patton rules, thanks for stopping by my Twitter(?) Page. Byeeee

[Evan Vest @EvanVestIsReal]

@pattonoswalt I work in a social center for adults with alzheimers, and today's focus was on the movie Casablanca, which premiered on this day. I read a passage from your book about seeing Casablanca at the New Beverly and it was a huge hit! Thanks for providing a cool moment

[Evan Vest @EvanVestIsReal]

I've been listening to 16th Minute of Fame by @jamieloftusHELP and I really think she is one of the best podcasters to do it. Engaging, funny, well thought-out episodes that takes the initial subject and uses it to explore deeper internet psychology. Thank you for the work you do

[Evan Vest @EvanVestIsReal]

I can't believe Dan Schneider is headlining the Bigfoot Comedy Festival in Eureka, CA this weekend. He must've been intrigued by the name

[Evan Vest @EvanVestIsReal]

The worst part of Threads is the lack of Pussy In Bio

[Evan Vest @EvanVestIsReal]

I was actually relieved to hear the Francis Scott Key Bridge disaster was caused by a wayward boat. For a moment, I was concerned it was because yo mamma tried to go across it

[Evan Vest @EvanVestIsReal]

Did you know that revered author Phillip K. Dicks full legal name was Philanthropy Ketamine Penis?

[Evan Vest @EvanVestIsReal]

Evan Vest in da house.

[Evan Vest @EvanVestIsReal]

Evan Vest in da house.

[Evan Vest @EvanVestIsReal]

Y'all catch the new episode of The Pee-Pee and Poo-Poo Show? I tell ya, what will they think of next #peepee #poopoo

[Evan Vest @EvanVestIsReal]

Because Jonah Hill is playing Jerry Garcia in an upcoming biopic, I took the messages he sent to his ex and asked ChatGPT to write a Grateful Dead song about it. This was the result.

[Evan Vest @EvanVestIsReal]

I heard for the last Indiana Jones movie, Harrison Ford shows hole

[Evan Vest @EvanVestIsReal]

T.J Maxximum Security Prison

[Evan Vest @EvanVestIsReal]

Grimaces birthday? No thanks, I'm still waiting for the funeral of Mayor McCheese.

[Evan Vest @EvanVestIsReal]

Can't wait until "suck my tongue like the Dalai Lama" winds up in a rap verse