Evan 👽🌲

my boulevard of broken dreams

[Evan 👽🌲 @Evvtron]

Plays Black Jack & Craps for 5 hours: Even

Plays Slots for 5 mins: Up $1k

[Evan 👽🌲 @Evvtron]

I never made it as a wise man

[Evan 👽🌲 @Evvtron]

And quite frankly. You got anything to say about my quarterback. You got anything to say about my defense. You got anything to say about my o-line. And you got anything to say about the city of Seattle. I got two words for you. FUCK YOU!

[Evan 👽🌲 @Evvtron]

@Seahawks

[Evan 👽🌲 @Evvtron]

SF’s last two games against the Seahawks:
3 + 6 = (9)Niners 🤣

[juicy j @therealjuicyj]

Hey @grok pass the blunt

[Evan 👽🌲 @Evvtron]

@LAxFLAME

[Evan 👽🌲 @Evvtron]

@wobblymami

[Dustin Nickerson @DustinNickerson]

“It’s gonna be a fairy tale ending for Philip Rivers”

Jason Myers:

[Mina Kimes @minakimes]

Somewhere, someone is watching the Atlanta Falcons for the first time in years. That person thinks Kyle Pitts is the most prolific scorer on earth.

[Evan 👽🌲 @Evvtron]

I just saw a chick on Hinge with the name “Smile” and she wasn’t smiling in a single one of her pics. I hate it here

[Evan 👽🌲 @Evvtron]

Me talking to my lyft driver lol

[Evan 👽🌲 @Evvtron]

Damn girl are you a carpenter? Because you got skills with the wood

[Evan 👽🌲 @Evvtron]

Seriously dude

[Evan 👽🌲 @Evvtron]

I went out tonight wearing all baby blue. Who the fuck do I think I am?

[Evan 👽🌲 @Evvtron]

There should be a dating app for insomniacs. I’m sick of the “why are you texting me at 2 am?” Because I’m a fucking wake [insert too short’s favorite word]

[Evan 👽🌲 @Evvtron]

How can you not love Shohei Ohtani tho?

[Evan 👽🌲 @Evvtron]

I’m so glad you can’t make tattoo appointments off of Amazon (yet)

[Evan 👽🌲 @Evvtron]

Been on a Chris Brown kick lately or is that called a punch?

[Evan 👽🌲 @Evvtron]

How expensive is darth vaders suit? It cost him and arm and a leg