mattyboychuk

I put the asses in the seats

[mattyboychuk @ExIsledUsher]

#Isles fans….Roundtrip UBS rides from $90 (central Nassau) up to SEVEN passengers! DM me for game availability and phone #. Come ride The Zamboni. 😊 Matty wants to be your NHL Concierge. Coming in from out of town? ✅ All airports!Manhattan to UBS? ✅

[mattyboychuk @ExIsledUsher]

Nathan Mackinnon and Connor McDavid are both about 2/3rds of the way through their careers, have 1 Cup between them and just seem grumpy all the time. When they’re 50 years old and someone asks them about regrets I promise you they’re gonna talk about how fast a career goes by and how they wish they’d have taken more time to just enjoy the journey. Not everyone who wins walks around with a constant scowl or throws temper tantrums at their teammates. The joyless cunt act is getting old. It’s still a game… you’re not pediatric brain cancer surgeons. Every year but one Nate Mackinnon has lost in the playoffs to opponents who smile and (gasp!) occasionally eat a slice of pizza or a cookie.

[mattyboychuk @ExIsledUsher]

Back at Shea stadium I once witnessed an interaction between a kid and Bobby Bonilla .. the kid was being so foul and abusive and profane during BP that all the fans by the dugout were looking around for his parents. Bonilla said only this to the kid … “ Hey kid where do you work so I can come to your job and talk shit.” Immediately Jon Heyman comes running down the steps asking the boy “ WHAT DID HE SAY TO YOU?!?!” The next day the headline read “ Bobby Bo berates young child .” I was in my early 20’s and it was my first exposure to the true nature of “the media”. Bonilla hadn’t even raised his voice, had smiled and we all had a good chuckle at his response to the belligerent brat. Heyman took it as an opportunity to slander.

[mattyboychuk @ExIsledUsher]

On a rainy LI holiday weekend just thinking about all the #Isles fans under 40 who’d have given themselves an absolute nose bleed and confirmation bias butt smashed each other had NYI hired John Tortorella instead of Pete DeBoer.

[mattyboychuk @ExIsledUsher]

You lost me at “ Movies should reflect the real world?” Huh? Movies are an escape… they’re also filled with fantasy and imagined narratives. They are art. No one goes to an art gallery and starts making demands of the artists… they just either appreciate the work and maybe buy it or they don’t.

[mattyboychuk @ExIsledUsher]

@maydog927 @stefen_rosner Elite tweet. I actually wish the Isles would lose a draft pick every time a fan complained about a player over 29. 😆😆😆

[mattyboychuk @ExIsledUsher]

I’ve never been a “lie to women” type of guy but if I was single my game would be going to Ranger bars after big Ranger wins, misrepresenting myself as a Rag boy and then post sex be sitting there in bed dragging my cigarette and just watching her reaction when I start talking about whether or not Cole Eiserman can round out his 200 foot game enough to be trusted by Pete Deboer. Every man has one great lie. That’s my fantasy. Just walking around midtown in a Sean Avery jersey Hell bent on deception followed by revelation that she just bedded a dipshit who lives in a Levitt. #Isles Let’s go boys. Get out there and make them never trust their instincts again. 🤣🤣

[mattyboychuk @ExIsledUsher]

@Thomas_Hickey14 Remembering that time 10 years ago when a West Hempstead bakery made you delicious! 😂😂 #Isles

[mattyboychuk @ExIsledUsher]

@MikeBartner and then 5 years later the 13th pick turns out better than the 7th anyway. It’s possible that “ touch grass” was invented for you. Give it a rest already.

[mattyboychuk @ExIsledUsher]

@MikeBartner He better hurry up because in about 5 minutes he’s gonna be too old for gamer chair nation.

[mattyboychuk @ExIsledUsher]

And now a paragraph you’re guaranteed to read on #Isles Twitter next season…. “ Look, I’m not saying Deboer’s a bad coach but literally no one was saying that Schaef needed to be “reigned in” last season and now we’re supposed to be happy he has only 28 points at the half way mark? I don’t CARE that the team’s record is better… miss me with that boomer shit.” - a 27 year old podcaster

[mattyboychuk @ExIsledUsher]

I wish we also had to pay money to read anything about it. Why is it all of a sudden completely free to read about Gen Z podcasters Cosplaying Real Housewives of Long Island drama from their dopey gamer chairs? Why is EVERYTHING about it not behind a paywall? Personally I hope Ondrej Palat bangs all their girlfriends while laughing about his own age and cap hit while the girlfriends are bottomless in Schenn jerseys.

[Will Chiarucci @WillChiarucci]

Last thing on this whole #isles discord disaster:

I never had a problem w/any of the Isles House crew however If you’re paying money to be in a private chat like paying money for a “membership” to sit in a certain section, with different tiers, you’re being profited off of.

[mattyboychuk @ExIsledUsher]

With the peculiar lack of marketing around Belmont Village and the fact that I drive wealthy north shore people past it and 70% have never heard of it and 100% have never gone… I’m convinced Malkin is waiting for the next big social movement/civil unrest where the residents of Elmont and Queens loot it and burn it to the ground and he makes an insurance claim and bulldozes the whole damn thing. #isles

[mattyboychuk @ExIsledUsher]

@VallysView Steve… when you read this your first call should be to call your friend Justin up and say “ Your kids have everything in their DNA to be the next great Canadian goaltending superstar. Hockey chops and glove hands passed down from elite baseball acumen.” Tell him to give you ONE YEAR to show him what you can build. Tell him not to be afraid. He’s not gonna listen to me. He’ll
Listen to you. Let’s GO!!!!! Canada produces enough dangly left wings. It’s time. It’s time to take the goaltending position back. No fear. Go get him tiger. Go get Dad on board.

[mattyboychuk @ExIsledUsher]

Tell me what place they’re in by Friday morning before they play their next game.

Games in hand are no big deal until you only have 4 left and your opens have 6. They are currently out of the playoffs based on points percentage. Right now they have about a 20% chance to make playoffs despite “appearing” to be in 3rd place.

[mattyboychuk @ExIsledUsher]

@NYJmikeyy @NYIslanders They’re really not “ahead of the playoffs” as they don’t play till Friday now and are about 99% to not be in a playoff spot by then.

[mattyboychuk @ExIsledUsher]

@y2j1399 @NYIslanders @DarrenDreger Pete Deboer is the all time winningest coach in North American sports in Game 7’s. This isn’t exactly Jack Capuano.

[mattyboychuk @ExIsledUsher]

Meh. Kyrou has 7 points in 14 games since March 1st. Schenn has 14 points in 15 games. If he’s “slower” he sure is doing more with less . Every year fans fetishize younger over older and every year 13-15 of the oldest teams make the tournament and 13-15 of the youngest teams miss. To me, Palat over Duclair is the problem. Nothing else.

[mattyboychuk @ExIsledUsher]

@RearAdBsBlog Plus he knows it’s Brian Leetch who’ll be kicked to the curb and how important that is to the sons and daughters of The Great American Dynasty. He never lets us down. 💕❤️💕❤️💕

[mattyboychuk @ExIsledUsher]

On today’s edition of “ Convos with Leboff and Saraceni”…. 😆 #Isles