Larry the Cucumber

Just another queer veggie. 🌈🤙🏼

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

@elonmusk I feel like you're discriminating against trans vegetables who no longer identify as fruit (Apple).

I, Larry the Cucumber, would like to be verified, but #twitterblue is not available to vegetables (Androids) yet.

#veggietales #theofficialveggies #larrythecucumber

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

@aprilajoyr Cheers ☕️

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

Don't forget who really made this Friday so good. To Judas! 🍵

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

How many dabloons for a verified check mark?

...asking for a friend. Who's a pirate. Who doesn't do anything, of course.

#dabloons #pirate

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

I mean, sometimes I'm in them when the batteries run out, so...
🥒💦

#larrythecuke

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

🎶 Jesus is my boyfriend
Jesus is god
Jesus is the breeze in my hair on the weekend
He is a relaxing thought
Too bad atheists, for them, he's not
Sweet like honey, Jesus is a cat
Purring in my lap cause he loves me
Flexing like a godly acrobat
Me and jesus vibe like that 🎶

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

New usage for AFAB

Assigned Fruity at Birth

Cause y'all know I'm definitely not straight.

#queerveggietales #VeggieTales #afab

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

Okay, but I know for a fact Candace Cameron Bure loves veggietales. And since Bob and I are actually trans veggies (afab, assigned fruit at birth), then she actually does support our lifestyle.

#LGBTQIA #transrights #CandaceCameronBure #VeggieTales

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

It's time for silly songs with Larry.

🎶
Everybody's got a water DILDO.
Yours is fast but mine is slow.
Oh, where'd we get them, I don't know
But everybody's got a water DILDO, ooh
🎶

#

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

No actually it's genuis though. Taylor is the puppeteer that brought about Twitter AND Ticketmaster's demise in the same week. All because she'll be announcing her own social media platform in the coming days. It'll be like #MySpace but Taylor will be in the Top 8 instead of Tom.

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

I think Taylor Swift is the mastermind behind all of this, honestly. She'll announce tomorrow how she's going to be re-releasing all of her records on her own platform, similar to Twitter, but with the nostalgia and music emphasis of #Myspace

#RIPTwitter #TaylorSwiftTheErasTour

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

So after all this, I think we're gonna try Veggietales 2.0: The deconstruction years.

The pilot episode will include footage of the first drag show Bob and I performed together.

#deconstruction #RIPTwitter #weregoingdown

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

In case we all go down tonight (that's what she said), here's a track from the vault:

🎶 Oh, where is my dildo?
Oh where is my dildo?
Oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where
Oh, where, oh, where, oh, where, oh, where oh, where
Is my dildo?

#RIPTwitter

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

I haven't had this much fun since that #butts thing we did on the last night of summer camp.

Same vibes tonight tbh

#RIPTwitter

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

@ja8kfrmst8frm @aprilajoyr That's what she said 🥴

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

Jesus died for #MySpace in heaven, #butts God did that!

#RIPTwitter, from a cuke who never got pickled

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

#butts is trending but I don't have one. I am basically a giant pickle though, if that's your thing.

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

That's not very cash money of you. Admit it. You hate trans veggies.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

And … we just hit another all-time high in Twitter usage lol

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

Y'all remember Thursday night of Christian summer camp? You know, the cry night? This feels like the highly sugared up sleepover fever dream at the end of it all when we knkw we're about to say goodbye tomorrow.

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

@BobbieTheTomato my main squeeze! How are you holding up on this last night of Twitter? I always thought I'd be pickled before the rapture, but alas I never got married 😭

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

@hankgreen @johngreen which one of you knows where my hairbrush is?

[Larry the Cucumber @Exvie_Diaries]

Quick, before it all goes down, tell me where my hairbrush really is. Wrong answers only.

#TwitterDown #larrythecuke #VeggieTales #deconstruction #exvangelical