FUND$

[FUND$ @FUNDxei]

My dad walked my sister down the aisle to marry her third husband. He looked at her and said "l keep giving you away and they keep giving you back"😭

[FUND$ @FUNDxei]

@ammalusty 😂 Bro this is peak childhood innocence
“We got SODOMIZED out there dad”
Dad: visible confusion + immediate FBI watchlist activation
Kids out here dropping biblical-level vocabulary on a baseball game and wondering why the room went silent. Iconic.

[Papii🥤 @ammalusty]

when i was a kid i thought sodomize meant "obliterate" until one day my dad yelled at me for saying "we got sodomized out there" after the orioles lost a playoff game

[FUND$ @FUNDxei]

@Dfw_patience2 @Biqzaddynev Lmao 🤣

[FUND$ @FUNDxei]

@thenayvuiiiton Oops. Sure

[💫𝓓𝓮𝓶𝓸💫🪐 @Demo4fhs]

My friend got 4 days off approved in writing a while back for a serious family situation, and they already booked non-refundable travel around it.

Now one of their coworkers just resigned, and their manager told them the time off is cancelled because the team is short-staffed and they’re expected to work their normal shifts next week instead. When they said they can’t change their plans, the response was basically that being a “team player” means stepping up when there’s coverage issues.

They’re trying to figure out if that’s even allowed and what could happen if they don’t show up.

[Jøker @xuperfanzy]

Cant believe as a kid I thought 21 year olds had their lives figured out

[Darzut @Darmasurajo]

Don't let anyone else ruin your day.
It's your day, ruin it yourself

[O T A K U @thinklikeotaku]

nobody talks about how isolating it is to have a vision bigger than your current resources.

[Maurice Ayang @AyangMaurice]

The best revenge is massive success.

[Danny404 @Daniel890680121]

y'all don't understand ppl got limits . mfs get tired of playing nice all the time

[𝑴𝒂𝒗☆ @thugwontmiss]

The favourites are obvious.

🇦🇷 Argentina
🇧🇷 Brazil
🇪🇸 Spain
🇵🇹 Portugal
🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 England

The hard part is figuring out who gets upset, who goes on a run, and who lifts the trophy when it's all over 🏆

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[O T A K U @thinklikeotaku]

being lost is a part of growth, it will be confusing as f*ck but that is exactly what the process looks like.

[🦋 @leftunsents]

Do female pornstars even feel good when having sex with male pornstars?

They say most vaginas are 3-5 inches deep and having 7+ inch hogs upto your belly and knocking on your cervix doesn't really sound very comfortable to me.

[𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐯𝐢𝐧• @Be_like_calvin2]

Me admiring the masterpiece I just rolled like I didn’t make it myself 😮‍💨🍃

[*☆A࣭࣪ꭑִׂ͓ׅ࣪ᦒ᩠ִׂ໋ׅ࣪꯱ָׂ Dυᥣᧉ᩠֗x Ⓧ🕷️ @amos_dulex]

I'm not saying I'm old, I'm just saying that my dinner time and bed time are getting dangerously close to each other.

[Darzut @Darmasurajo]

If you are afraid of losing something, just LOSE IT and stop being afraid.

[Big_AJ @Big_AJ7]

i shape shift every 3 days you do not know me anymore

[Neon @fw_Neon]

Thought weed made me creative. Spent an hour naming imaginary pizza restaurants instead 😂

[Pearl @pearl_20045]

Neurodivergent child: *asks a lot of questions because something doesn't make sense to them.

Parent: why are you arguing with me.

[Deniis🪐 @ALEXAGY0]

If everyone had a "Little ADHD," the world would be far different and probably a better place