Failureville

[Failureville @Failureville]

The way Trump's brain seems to be rotting in front of us makes me wonder if his approach to the burning when he peed was to think, if I don't get tested, I don't have syphilis.

[Failureville @Failureville]

Does the statute only allow for arrests after the fact?
Also, who wants to hear Dopey say "statue statute" five times fast?

[Yamiche Alcindor @Yamiche]

President Trump says he plans to sign an executive order on statues. Reports say the executive order will be allowing for the immediate arrest of people who deface or remove federal statues.

[Failureville @Failureville]

If I don't test this lump, it isn't cancer. Problem solved.

[Failureville @Failureville]

I bet I can find 1 juror in DC to nullify your prosecution if Andrew Jackson (BIG TIME RACIST PIECE OF SHIT) disappears, you racist-defending tub of insecurity. #bigly

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Numerous people arrested in D.C. for the disgraceful vandalism, in Lafayette Park, of the magnificent Statue of Andrew Jackson, in addition to the exterior defacing of St. John’s Church across the street. 10 years in prison under the Veteran’s Memorial Preservation Act. Beware!

[Failureville @Failureville]

Trump officials confused by order to follow the law.

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

I have authorized the Federal Government to arrest anyone who vandalizes or destroys any monument, statue or other such Federal property in the U.S. with up to 10 years in prison, per the Veteran’s Memorial Preservation Act, or such other laws that may be pertinent.....

[Failureville @Failureville]

Kind of like by stopping oversight, you've managed to lower the known instances of impeachable and/criminal offenses in your administration.

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Cases are going up in the U.S. because we are testing far more than any other country, and ever expanding. With smaller testing we would show fewer cases!

[Failureville @Failureville]

Everybody knows Dopey wouldn't wear a helmet. They're for weak-skulled nerds.

[Charles P. Pierce @CharlesPPierce]

Lickspittle explains his hidden meanings.

[Failureville @Failureville]

These Lincoln Project ads are the reminders I need that other people see what a boob we have in the White House.

[Failureville @Failureville]

Judging by the half empty arena the "president" addressed last night, the thugs and lowlifes he told to stay away mostly did so. #TulsaTrumpRally

[Failureville @Failureville]

Only the strongest Presidents (as in all of them except this dope) can salute all day and still drink water with one hand.

[Failureville @Failureville]

Well, @JoeBiden, the gauntlet has been thrown down the slippery ramp. Can YOU drink water out of a glass with 1 hand?!

[Failureville @Failureville]

I know this is probably far from the most important journalistic question, but can we get some comment from other military leaders on whether they've ever gotten a dead arm from saluting too much?

[Failureville @Failureville]

If a narcissist has a rally and only half the people he expected show up to adore him, is it Hillary's fault, or Obama's? #TriumphOfTheWillfullyIgnorant

[Failureville @Failureville]

Fox News Trump touts seem tired. Like they can't believe they've been lying for this asshole for almost 5 years.

[Failureville @Failureville]

Hahaha. 1 million people supposedly requested tickets to this @realDonaldTrump "Who wants Covid rally" but this bloated loser can't even get 10,000 people to listen to his addled ramblings.

[Failureville @Failureville]

Based on how empty this @realDonaldTrump adoration service is, maybe his supporters aren't as stupid as he clearly is.

[Failureville @Failureville]

Haha. A-Aron done messed up.

[Variety @Variety]

AMC Theater CEO Adam Aron says their cinemas won't require masks upon reopening because they didn't "want to be drawn into a political controversy" https://t.co/zNjy9wzGMK

[Failureville @Failureville]

In future breaking news, Air Force IG has been fired.

[The New York Times @nytimes]

Breaking News: The Air Force inspector general is investigating whether the military improperly used a secretive surveillance plane to monitor recent protests https://t.co/CFeMG6bfoo

[Failureville @Failureville]

I always thought Todd was the Fredo.#RickettsBeCrazy

[Omaha World-Herald @OWHnews]

The governor has informed local officials that if citizens are required to wear masks in public buildings, their governments will not receive any of the $100 million in federal coronavirus aid money. https://t.co/jKi68KbIni

[Failureville @Failureville]

I never had a problem with Columbus Day, but it also never made any sense. Italian-Americans celebrating Spain's use of immigrant labor to bring syphilis to Europe.