Fake Monte Shinkle

Senior Pastor and Theologian at Concord Baptist Church

[🌺CRYSTAL🌻 @crystalsmuse]

@FakeBroMo One of my fondest memories...
My boys cleaning your barn, talking about Mrs. Betty’s Great cooking, Jonathan being my insurance agent, and you catching that groundhog, and bringing it to our home. Thank you for being a friend, to my family. We love you, and Betty.

[Concord Baptist @concordjc]

Thankful for Bro. Monte Shinkle and his wonderful wife Betty and their more than 30 years of faithful service to Concord Baptist Church. They have Loved God and Loved People well and will be greatly missed!

[Fake Monte Shinkle @FakeBroMo]

Betty was going to write my last sermon.

We wouldn't have had a friend left in this church. We would have been done and you would have been done with us.

[Fake Monte Shinkle @FakeBroMo]

Some final quotes from the pulpit:

It's okay to wipe your nose in the pulpit. It's okay to blow your nose in the pulpit. Just don't look at it.

[Fake Monte Shinkle @FakeBroMo]

Today as Brother Monte steps into the pulpit for his last sermon as Senior Pastor, let us thank him for his over 30 years of service to this congregation. Thank you, Monte, for shepherding my family. The Lord has blessed all of us through you. May He also bless you and Betty.

[🅰🅳🅰🅼 🆁 🅷🅾🆁🅽 @adamrhorn]

@FakeBroMo One serious, one not so serious, and one comedic conviction:
"What goes down in the well, comes up in the bucket."
"My cat had kittens in a bread pan, but that doesn't make them biscuits."
"Get off your blessed assurance and find something to do."

[Fake Monte Shinkle @FakeBroMo]

So, Monte is retiring at the end of this year. Tweet your favorite memory or best one-liners.

[Fake Monte Shinkle @FakeBroMo]

If you let your light shine you are going to draw some bugs.

[Fake Monte Shinkle @FakeBroMo]

My dad said that God made us Shinkles with our bladders too close to our eyes.

[Fake Monte Shinkle @FakeBroMo]

How Big is God?

[Fake Monte Shinkle @FakeBroMo]

Bubba never said "My pickup truck is precious".

[Fake Monte Shinkle @FakeBroMo]

What if your tweet is not sweet?

[Fake Monte Shinkle @FakeBroMo]

If you eat a live frog first thing in the morning, your day is pretty much guaranteed to get better after that.

[Fake Monte Shinkle @FakeBroMo]

Don't say to yourselves "Monte has lost his marbles now". I have news for you. They rolled out long ago.

[Fake Monte Shinkle @FakeBroMo]

I've heard it said that sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is take a nap. Some of you are being very spiritual right now during this sermon.

[Fake Monte Shinkle @FakeBroMo]

Everything reproduces after its kind. Cows produce cows, sheep produce sheep, chickens produce chickens, and numbskulls produce numbskulls.

[Fake Monte Shinkle @FakeBroMo]

Some of you need to get off your blessed assurance and find something to do. The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few.

[Fake Monte Shinkle @FakeBroMo]

I have a specialty in swine science. Mark 5:11-13

[Concord Baptist @concordjc]

Limited quantities of free produce will be available at Concord on Monday, Aug. 10 at 1:30 pm. Please go to the front parking lot and one box will be loaded per vehicle.