JUICE-TIN™

I still can’t believe I ate the whole thing.

[JUICE-TIN™ @FakeGlasses]

So I sent this to my friend who was having relationship problems and she sent it to him

[Melanie D'Arrigo @DarrigoMelanie]

We have this, but kids cancer research was deemed wasteful spending.

[Harry @hdwmovies]

this is what every scene in The Bear is like

[ArtButMakeItSports @ArtButSports]

Cain smiting Abel with God's Expulsion of Cain from the Garden of Eden, by Sebastiano & Marco Ricci, 1716, 📸 via @PeteBlackburn

[Justin Trudeau @JustinTrudeau]

You can’t take our country — and you can’t take our game.

[Donald Trump’s Neck Vagina @torontobaddy]

Who was this reporter? I’d like to buy them a drink. 🥃

[Non-Ironically T.V.'s B. Dave Walters - EVERYWHERE @BDaveWalters]

Unfortunate, but necessary information

[Ashley Franklin @DifferentAshley]

I never recovered when I stumbled upon this:

[chuuch @ch000ch]

hi, grandma? can u come pick me up from my rap battle? it's over. no, i lost. he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it

[JUICE-TIN™ @FakeGlasses]

And I guess preventing doors and wheels from falling off the planes would be a good start

[JUICE-TIN™ @FakeGlasses]

Air travel could be less daunting if they renamed Airports the ‘Plane House.’

[star•gyal @beequammie]

Writers for The Crown getting back into the writers room this morning

[mike ginn @shutupmikeginn]

My "Not involved in human trafficking" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.

[🍃 @cardamomkiss]

She died doing what she loved. Walking into the road while saying "Pedestrians have right of way"

[thomas 🍌 @perfectsweeties]

makes no sense that women were ever labeled as being unstable. being a man is a mental illness. every 6 months i have to fight the voices from the void telling me to tear my life asunder in favor of joining a crab fishing boat in alaska. it’s insane. i dont even like fishing

[Losing it @prophethusband]

Text to homie nicknamed Big Gulp: You make every day of my life better than the next. I feel like I have known you for a thousand lifetimes

Text to wife: Make sure the bathroom door is open when I got home. Im gonna come in sprinting

[Fuck off @Get_effed]

You don't see dogs gleefully running out of a butcher's shop with a string of sausages any more because of woke

[John Frankensteiner @JFrankensteiner]

Dodgers right now

[wint @dril]

just my luck to get fired from Goldman Sachs for deciding to stop supporting Genocides right before what is apparently the one good genocide