Fake Haiku

Just a simpleton. Writing stupid things for you. Haikus are fun, right?

[Fake Haiku @FakeHaiku]

The white snow falls down
Upon my exposed nutsack
Damn, it's fuckin' cold

[Fake Haiku @FakeHaiku]

Date night, my darling
I brought you some fresh flowers
You would have loved them

[Fake Haiku @FakeHaiku]

Sitting at the bar
Staring at my telephone
It’s a computer

[Fake Haiku @FakeHaiku]

Gotta shit so bad
Breathe slowly and concentrate
Don’t shit your pants yet
@tristanwestkirk

[Fake Haiku @FakeHaiku]

@tristanwestkirk I gave my kids a section of shit crusted pipe inside a Nintendo box - opened up an amazing conversation about the ethics of indoor plumbing.

[Fake Haiku @FakeHaiku]

I accomplish things
Busyness avoids the pain
Otherwise, there’s drugs

[Fake Haiku @FakeHaiku]

The storm is coming
From beneath my lip, rising
Fucking herpes sore

[Fake Haiku @FakeHaiku]

Stinky fart city
Apologies, coworkers
Indonesian food

[Fake Haiku @FakeHaiku]

Fluffy white bleach cloud
Like being at a hotel
With my little cat

[Fake Haiku @FakeHaiku]

People that stand up
When there are seats in the back
You’re fucking this up

[Fake Haiku @FakeHaiku]

Said goodbye again
They're just normal blankets now
Your magic is gone
#haiku #poetry

[Fake Haiku @FakeHaiku]

Sometimes I don’t eat
Because I am so lonely
Thanks for sitting here
#haiku #poetry #elliecat

[Fake Haiku @FakeHaiku]

@RioHat1 Pleasure to meet you
I just like writing haiku
It’s pretty fun, right?

[Fake Haiku @FakeHaiku]

Damp, grey wind hugs me
So I got some McDonald’s
Fuckin’ biscuits, dude
#haiku

[Fake Haiku @FakeHaiku]

Tried to squeeze a zit
Nothing happened but some pain
Praise acne goddess

[Fake Haiku @FakeHaiku]

I sharted today
Our cat tried to die again
Got any weed, sis?

[Fake Haiku @FakeHaiku]

I have to poop now
But the clients beckon me
Ooops, just shit my pants
#haiku

[Fake Haiku @FakeHaiku]

Went to take a dump
Thought it would be really gross
One wipe miracle

[Fake Haiku @FakeHaiku]

Tailgater this morn
Flipped them the bird, as one does
She was super pissed