Fake Kellen Winslow

If I get sent to jail for charges of rape, I hope they have Vaseline there.

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@jimrome Most savage Smackoff RSVP that I have ever heard! Well done, @DAonCBS!

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@jimrome I'm not afraid of coronavirus. As long as I get my regular supply of Vaseline, that's all that matters to me!

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@jimrome If Hawk broke the 5-hour barrier, does this mean we can stop calling him "Sparrow" and "Pigeon"?

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@jimrome Coach Atkinson would rather be unemployed than coach KD and Kyrie? Well, he can use shrimp as Bluetooth like I do now!
~Irie

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@jimrome See if Ike can book my namesake! I want to hear his version of the incident in the Target parking lot! #Vaseline #TheStroke #LookingForBostonMarket

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@jimrome You should consult @DrDaveNChicago after you hit your head on the camera. He'll recommend that you have your arm amputated!

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@jimrome Did Hawk recommend that you enter concussion protocol after running into the camera?

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@jimrome Did Trebek say that his bodily functions ceased to function? We'll never have that problem!
~Najeh Davenport and @RexintheABQ

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@TFPWillEat I loved your Mike Bloomberg e-mail!

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@jimrome Wait, it's not okay for Francis in Glendale to "get political" and crack on Mike Bloomberg, but perfectly okay for Trapper to spout off his left-wing venom whenever he calls? Oh, okay. 🙄

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@jimrome Who needs "Car Nap Nation" when you can be part of "Car Fap Nation"?
~Kellen Winslow and Reese McGuire

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@jimrome Best. Parody. Larry. Call. EVER! #GeorgePappasJersey

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@jimrome For those of us who don't have @CBSSportsNet, can you post a pic of your jersey on Twitter?

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@jimrome Has anyone ever mistaken James Kelly's forehead for the dome of the US Capitol? #JustWondering

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@NocalVic Welcome back to Twitter, Vic! Your rapier wit has been sorely missed around these parts.

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@jimrome "If it feels good, you ain't doin' it right!"

I beg to differ.

~Privates Winslow playing with himself in a parking lot

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@jimrome I had cereal this morning, and I'll let it out - along with the tacos, enchiladas, and other grub that upsets my gut!
~@RexintheABQ

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@jimrome You know Bob in Jacksonville when the guy who called you "Drew-Jumpman-Gillett" is clowning him.

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@jimrome Bob the blowhard in Jacksonville had an all-time awful take!
~Brad in Detroit wanting to spray Cal Ripken, Jr. with mace

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@jimrome Was that Chaka Khan singing Star-Spangled Banner, or Yoko Ono? #JustWondering

[Fake Kellen Winslow @FakeKWinslow]

@jimrome What does Bella Bee do all day that she has so much free time to ATP you every freaking time the ATP comes up?! #GetAJob