Fake Marc Benioff

Conceived in a cloud, born in the cloud, raised in the cloud. Thinking in the clouds.

I am not the real Marc Benioff, no really I'm not.

[Fake Marc Benioff @FakeMarcBenioff]

@realDonaldTrump @realDonaldTrump is so dumb, when he visits a swing state he spends the first hour looking for the bowl to put the car keys in.

[Fake Marc Benioff @FakeMarcBenioff]

@samcharrington @cloud_borat Your call resurrected me to mock @Salesforce One. Is there demand for the man that put the buff in buffoon?

[Fake Marc Benioff @FakeMarcBenioff]

100 followers? Booya! I only came back for Salesforce One. Is there a need for the Ron Burgundy of CRM? Let me know.

[Fake Marc Benioff @FakeMarcBenioff]

If the speed of now gets you to the future first, how much longer will it take if you go at the speed of five minutes ago? @salesforce one

[Fake Marc Benioff @FakeMarcBenioff]

Wasn't Steve jobs a head of NeXt?

[Fake Marc Benioff @FakeMarcBenioff]

If my customers are moving at superhuman speed, therefore, by definition, @salesforce one customers are not human.

[Fake Marc Benioff @FakeMarcBenioff]

The third great wave of computing is coming. I'm taking up surfing to be the chairman of the (surf)board. The crash will be hard though

[Fake Marc Benioff @FakeMarcBenioff]

If I go too fast, don't I head towards the past, not the future? Is @salesforce going backwards like its profit margins?

[Fake Marc Benioff @FakeMarcBenioff]

Hyper-connected? @salesforce one is more hype-connected

[Fake Marc Benioff @FakeMarcBenioff]

There is a lot of speed being thrown around when we talk about @salesforce one, and we don't mean just in the rhetoric

[Fake Marc Benioff @FakeMarcBenioff]

A hui hou kakou, mahalo nui loa. Aloha ;)

[Fake Marc Benioff @FakeMarcBenioff]

Been reading #50ShadesOfGrey. Its given me some great ideas for motivating the @salesforce sales team #CountOutYourLostLeads

[Fake Marc Benioff @FakeMarcBenioff]

Could this be a sign of what is to come in the @salesforce quarterly call? http://t.co/qAPLsBFp

[Fake Marc Benioff @FakeMarcBenioff]

Do's a social collaboration app integrating with social collaboration app @chatter. We plan to add social collaboration http://t.co/2CTdxABr

[Fake Marc Benioff @FakeMarcBenioff]

@ciscosystems is bringing me on to turn them from a profitable company with a declining share price to the opposite http://t.co/ydH8eH3U

[Fake Marc Benioff @FakeMarcBenioff]

@salesforce has no configurable way to check for duplicate records on entry? That sucks! http://t.co/jFduchGf

[Fake Marc Benioff @FakeMarcBenioff]

@JamieGrenney Could your measures explain why socially @salesforce is very popular but your profits are non-existent? http://t.co/mtMMGFtZ

[Fake Marc Benioff @FakeMarcBenioff]

@JamieGrenney Surely 'social success' should be measured on the revenue it generates vs the effort it costs http://t.co/mtMMGFtZ

[Fake Marc Benioff @FakeMarcBenioff]

@SAP and @Oracle: Not so much lower the barriers of exit but raising the barriers of staying http://t.co/ea2nohlx

[Fake Marc Benioff @FakeMarcBenioff]

@SAP and @oracle: This sounds like a spectacular way to send customers to your competitors. http://t.co/ea2nohlx