Fake GarrisonKeillor

I am not the host of A Prairie Home Companion, but I'm as dull as he is.

[Fake GarrisonKeillor @FakePrairieHome]

I did it and I’m not sorry.

[Fake GarrisonKeillor @FakePrairieHome]

What the hell are you talking about @DoSavannah? I haven’t told a legitimately funny story since @petersagal had hair.

[Fake GarrisonKeillor @FakePrairieHome]

What the hell are you talking about @vslost?

[Fake GarrisonKeillor @FakePrairieHome]

@johnmoe @petersagal Your grandfather’s colon is made by NPR.

[Fake GarrisonKeillor @FakePrairieHome]

@BoobsRadley Well f*ck you too. #offensetaken

[Fake GarrisonKeillor @FakePrairieHome]

Don’t you favorite me @jess_on_ice and as for you @AnneMostue you can go pound sand. #harrumph

[Fake GarrisonKeillor @FakePrairieHome]

What a load of hooey. @jess_on_ice @prairie_home @g_keillor @guss136 You are as dreary in person as you appear in this photo.

[Fake GarrisonKeillor @FakePrairieHome]

.@LouisianaFilmTV You four-flushing swine. I’ll pick up @petersagal and beat you to death with him, folksy style.

[Fake GarrisonKeillor @FakePrairieHome]

@LouisianaFilmTV No you’re the asshole.

[Fake GarrisonKeillor @FakePrairieHome]

Don’t provoke me @LouisianaFilmTV. I am a crusty, cantankerous old boot and I will still be doing my show when Letterman is in the grave.

[Fake GarrisonKeillor @FakePrairieHome]

Let me be clear. @SDSouthard and @ray_josen_nyu are a couple of doo doo heads and I am a crotchety old curmudgeon.

[Fake GarrisonKeillor @FakePrairieHome]

It’s hard for me to tweet much because my show every weekend is 91 hours long. That’s a lot of stale material to prepare.

[Fake GarrisonKeillor @FakePrairieHome]

I, on the other hand, never met a cheap shot I didn’t like. *YAWN* Coming up with good material is EXHAUSTING.

[Fake GarrisonKeillor @FakePrairieHome]

Thanks for the shout out @skelators. I like to think that, in my case, MN stands for Mind Numbing. My show couldn't be more soporific.

[Fake GarrisonKeillor @FakePrairieHome]

Hey everybody, tune into #PraiHoCom this weekend to hear the same snooze-fest I’ve been doing since the show started back in the Bronze age.

[Fake GarrisonKeillor @FakePrairieHome]

It's like I don't even know how to alienate public radio listeners any more. Can I make the show more stale? More vanilla? More pointless?

[Fake GarrisonKeillor @FakePrairieHome]

.@aliPUMC What do you mean you love Prairie Home Companion? I've done everything I can to make this show boring, dull, and putrid.

[Fake GarrisonKeillor @FakePrairieHome]

@incineratormuse Don't presume to speak for me. I don't know what any of those words mean. And I'm wasted.

[Fake GarrisonKeillor @FakePrairieHome]

@FakeWillShortz 1 across says Bite me. 1 down says In your face.

[Fake GarrisonKeillor @FakePrairieHome]

@FakeWillShortz You're a putz, Shortz.