Fake TV Critic

I complain about TV, even when I love it. Bravo, gay shit, Phillies, Hallmark Christmas movies... I contain multitudes. Podcast out everywhere! he/they

[Fake TV Critic @FakeTVCritic]

Me explaining the relationships of the entire #PumpRules cast beginning with season one, episode one, scene one on today's episode of the podcast (available here: https://t.co/GcMovjIEH5)

[Fake TV Critic @FakeTVCritic]

Would love to @AMCTheatres, but my theatre isn't showing any of these. We're also not getting Stop! That! Train!, Girls Like Girls, or Leviticus.

I guess you really don't want my gay dollars. Happy Pride, though, or whatever.

[Fake TV Critic @FakeTVCritic]

@serializd

[Fake TV Critic @FakeTVCritic]

How the schadenfreude of people going bankrupt on #WheelOfFortune because they keep spinning for more money instead of solving the puzzle makes me feel.

[Fake TV Critic @FakeTVCritic]

Cannes is so dumb, I hope there's a whole episode of The White Lotus about these ovations. Like I cannot imagine clapping at anything for 12 minutes. That's longer than a whole episode of Rugrats.

[Deadline @DEADLINE]

‘The Birthday Party’ Gets 12-Minute Ovation At Cannes Premiere As Competition Screenings Wrap https://t.co/6N5wi4vqWl

[Fake TV Critic @FakeTVCritic]

Oh thank God

[Fake TV Critic @FakeTVCritic]

Jonathan is gonna win, and I'm gonna be SICK. #Survivor50

[Fake TV Critic @FakeTVCritic]

@whotfisjovana It's an amazing performance, but it's not like they took a chance on an unknown over a proven star. With that budget, an A-Lister was never in the cards.

[Fake TV Critic @FakeTVCritic]

8:15pm on Christmas Eve is absolutely psychotic.

[Philadelphia Eagles @Eagles]

The 2026 schedule in all its glory 🤩

@ticketmaster | #FlyEaglesFly

[Fake TV Critic @FakeTVCritic]

Wooooooooow this looks AWFUL

[HBO Max @hbomax1234567]

They’re on a quest to save us all. @StuartFails to Save the Universe premieres July 23 on HBO Max. #SFTSTU

[Fake TV Critic @FakeTVCritic]

@HollywoodHandle I'm excited to not see this damn trailer anymore once it opens.

[Fake TV Critic @FakeTVCritic]

@PrimeVideo Okay but what about Caped Crusader season 2

[Fake TV Critic @FakeTVCritic]

Men will believe anything except women.

[Tom Renz @RenzTom]

The War on Old Cars Has Already Started

You really think they're rolling back the kill switch legislation?

Keep dreaming. Hold onto your old cars — the new ones are straight-up surveillance devices with kill switches and tracking built in.

They'll rig the gas supply, make old fuel scarce or insanely expensive, and force everyone into these track-and-trace smart cars.

Think your clunker is safe? They've already mapped out how to kill that loophole too.

It's not a conspiracy — it's the plan. And it's accelerating.

[Fake TV Critic @FakeTVCritic]

Y'all could win the Cup and half the country would still be surprised to learn there's a hockey team in the Carolinas.

[Carolina Hurricanes @Canes]

Do you want it wit or witout tears?

[Fake TV Critic @FakeTVCritic]

@bonescoffeeco Literally had to start using a cabinet in the laundry room for overflow because I'm terrified of flavors retiring.

[Fake TV Critic @FakeTVCritic]

This dumbass app is so chopped.

[Fake TV Critic @FakeTVCritic]

#Survivor50 is exhausting. STOP SCREWING AROUND WITH THE GAME! It's a great game! It's entertaining as hell WITHOUT all these garbage "twists" and format changes. #Survivor

[Fake TV Critic @FakeTVCritic]

@Phillies How did Thomson become the sacrificial lamb for Dombrowski's fuckups and failures?

[Fake TV Critic @FakeTVCritic]

@AdamLeviLAX @BMFONES This is insane. It's not some random call, it's a call that ended a teams season in the PLAYOFFS. "Accountability" in this case does not mean saying sorry, not even close.

[Philadelphia Phillies @Phillies]

Extra! Extra!

#RingTheBell

[Fake TV Critic @FakeTVCritic]

@ah_pod I'm so sorry. What did/do you do? My employer actually is hiring in North Philly.