Falani

If you're looking for your car, I was nowhere near Pak N Save at the time.

[Falani @FalaniWestside]

Wonderful to see my younger, slimmer self! #nococksucking

[David Fane @DrFane]

Got asked by a young actor, what's the secret to having a long career? Told him "Getting out of acting would probably help"

[Westside @OFWestside]

Hey OF fans, if you like BOOBS you should donate some cash to support Shane Cortese (aka Hayden 'Poofter' Peters)... http://t.co/apMTPxIH

[Falani @FalaniWestside]

http://t.co/y4s9Ihfg

[David Fane @DrFane]

Just been to a meeting with my sons teacher. My poor son, I consoled him with "Lucky flights to Samoa are expensive right now"

[Falani @FalaniWestside]

@DrFane Last time I took Mrs Falani to the movies, she started beating the usher with a jandal when he tried to take her 20 piece pack away.

[Falani @FalaniWestside]

If Mrs Falani asks…..we went out for tapas OK?

[Falani @FalaniWestside]

Nup. I just make love to her until she falls asleep then steal the money from her purse.

[Falani @FalaniWestside]

I say to my wife, 'I'm gonna play poker with my boys', she gets upset but do I show her the back of my hand?

[Falani @FalaniWestside]

@DrFane Ahh yes. "buy" it, certainly. I'll help you with the transport of said comestibles.

[Falani @FalaniWestside]

Do I look like a big dumb islander?

[Falani @FalaniWestside]

Bit cold for my thick island blood.

[Falani @FalaniWestside]

I remember my eldest daughter was caught with a minister...

[Falani @FalaniWestside]

Ted West was a fine man and very handy with the Turf Digest. I'll miss him and his tips.

[Falani @FalaniWestside]

Mrs Falani is not looking happy at the prospect of tonight's @OFwestside final. Best I slip off to the Rusty, out of range of her jandal arm

[Falani @FalaniWestside]

Young people today, they give all us Islanders a bad name, with their drugs, and their gangs and their hip hop music.

[Falani @FalaniWestside]

It's a terrible thing to grow old alone Cheryl, and they have such good company here and there's a housie on Tuesdays....

[Falani @FalaniWestside]

Is it a bird, is it a plane, no, it's SEWER MAN!

[Falani @FalaniWestside]

Cheating at cards, a terrible thing, I myself would never sink so low...

[Falani @FalaniWestside]

Neat: http://tinyurl.com/29wjgvc