Family Matters

FM provides counselling and a helpline to survivors of childhood sexual abuse and rape of all ages in SE London and Kent.
01474 536661 [email protected]

[Family Matters @Family__Matters]

Public fundraising plays a crucial role in supporting charities like ours, enabling us to thrive and reach more individuals in need. If you're interested in fundraising for FM, please contact [email protected] for a fundraising pack.

Thank you for your support!

[Kent Mental Wellbeing Awards @KentMWAwards]

Congratulations to Dolores Fernandez & @Family__Matters #Gravesend on being named a winner for this year's Kent Mental Wellbeing Awards.

Click the link below to see the full list of winners! https://t.co/wQDlmUomtc

Event proudly delivered by @MindinBexley & @EastKentMind

[Kent Mental Wellbeing Awards @KentMWAwards]

A Gravesend therapist who supports victims of rape and sexual abuse has been nominated for the 2024 Kent Mental Wellbeing Awards.

Dolores Fernandez, @Family__Matters #Gravesend, is credited as saving the life of her nominator.

Read the story here: https://t.co/vRHFsQ8vtU

[Kent Mental Wellbeing Awards @KentMWAwards]

Congratulations to Dolores Fernandez @Family__Matters #Gravesend on being nominated for the 2024 Kent Mental Wellbeing Awards!

Nominations are linked to the themes of kindness and compassion; wellbeing; mental health.

To submit a nomination visit https://t.co/FNwjnE2ckD

[Family Matters @Family__Matters]

Lauren's incredible fundraising efforts will directly contribute to providing essential support to survivors of sexual abuse in the Kent community through Family Matters. We extend our heartfelt gratitude to Lauren and congratulate her on completing the marathon. #londonmarathon

[Family Matters @Family__Matters]

Happy International Women's Day!
Here’s to all the incredible women shaping our world. Today, we celebrate the achievements and boundless potential of women everywhere. Here's to smashing glass ceilings and embracing the extraordinary. #IWD2024 #BreakTheBias #EqualityForAll

[Family Matters @Family__Matters]

‘Revealing our dark secret was so hard – but it was worth it’ https://t.co/NfXFOjJoMJ

[Family Matters @Family__Matters]

On Tuesday, Poppy (FM Ambassador and Child Sexual Abuse survivor) attended the Houses of Parliament to lobby for positive changes to the ‘Victims and Prisoners Bill’ which is being debated at present.

Read the full article here: https://t.co/pnWqmzdDAZ

Image source: NSPCC

[Family Matters @Family__Matters]

Saye and Sele Lodge based at Welling, under the province of West Kent Freemasons have so generously raised £250 for our charity! We are so thankful for their amazing efforts and support. All donations go towards supporting more clients accessing our services.

[Family Matters @Family__Matters]

Poppy’s mum Miranda spoke to BBC Radio Kent about her and her family’s experience after Poppy opened up to her about the abuse she had experienced from her paternal grandfather. #PoppysStory #CSE #Survivor

Listen here: https://t.co/keGdYZiLXN

[Family Matters @Family__Matters]

@dwaynehankins Thank you for your kind words Wayne #PoppysStory

[Family Matters @Family__Matters]

If you have been impacted by Poppy's incredibly brave story on the BBC tonight, you are not alone. Family Matters UK Charity is here to help, our doors are always open. https://t.co/oiBuXy1KPk
You can help donate to Poppy's cause at https://t.co/zbrr2aD2Tc

[Family Matters @Family__Matters]

Family Matters were on BBC Radio Kent today talking about Poppys Story. You can listen here: https://t.co/sFE3U4kA3F

@ the 3hr 10min mark onwards.

[Nicola Stewart @sch_counsellor]

For any adult reading this who may be affected by this content. Please reach out to these amazing charities offering support to adult/child CSA survivors

@Family__Matters Kent

@WeareOneinFour London

@SARSAS_uk Avon & Somerset

@SafelineOrg England & Wales

@survivorstrust☂️org

[Family Matters @Family__Matters]

@paulcwillis @BBCiPlayer Thank you for sharing your thoughts Paul, we couldn't agree with you more. We are so proud of Poppy and her family. #PoppysStory

[Family Matters @Family__Matters]

@magwitch5151 @BBCNews We couldn't agree more! We are so proud of Poppy and her family. This exposure will help so many others to seek support.

[Family Matters @Family__Matters]

@ChrisTuck_WWHF Thank you so much for sharing this Chris - we cannot express how proud we are of Poppy and her family.

We are sure that the article, news segments, and documentary will help many come forward and ask for the help they so desperately need and deserve.
#PoppysStory

[Chris Tuck | CSA Speaker & Campaigner @ChrisTuck_SoB]

#PoppysStory of child sexual abuse, speaking out, going through the criminal justice system, accessing counselling as a child and what she is doing now.

Firstly I want to pay my respects to her courage and for Poppy sharing her journey so far. It will bring alot of awareness to many and will enable some individuals to.come forward and share their lives experiences and get help

But what Poppys story highlights for me in no particular order and with no judgement :-

1) Poppys parents did not know child sexual abuse could happen or how to deal with it; when faced with it.

Take home:

All parents need to have awareness of child sexual abuse. What is it? Its prevalence, its impact.

We all need to be have every day conversations about CSAE so that children can come to us and we can hold these conversations and access help and support hen needed.

2) Poppy loved the abuser and felt guilty about speaking up and getting her grandfather into trouble.

Take home: Loving the abuser is normal in many cases.

Parents need to have boundaries in place to protect their children and explain to the child that if anyone croses those boundaries they are not at fault, the adult is.

3) Poppy didn't have the words to express what was happening to her. When she spoke she watched her parents' reaction and she quickly downplayed what had happened to her because if the reaction.

Mum said she was horrified at what she was hearing and she had not even heard about the rapes of her daughter at this point.

Mum just thought grandad had been naked in front her her daughter.

Take home:
Listen to your children and do not show a reaction (hard I know!). You want to encourage them to speak not shut them down.

Ask them further questions if appropriate....what happened to them, how it made them feel, what are their worries?

Keep communicating with your child....If your child has changed or their behaviour has changed ask them what is going on for them.

4) The perpetrator more often than not will always explain things away or deny accusations.

They would have groomed people around them.

Poppys family was split when she spoke up. This is often the case.

I am so pleased Poppys parents believed her and supported her all the way. This would of helped her massively in her recovery.

If Poppys parents had not believed her (which is often the case) Poppys case would probably not have gone anywhere & her health outcomes and recovery would have been negatively impacted so much more.

Our family situation was known to social services, the Police, our schools. We were never believed; no matter what we said or did. That disbelief, that inaction has impacted my whole family for our lifetime.

The points I have mentioned above are all helpful for parents in tackling child sexual abuse within the home environment more effectively however if your abusers are your parents they would not want their children to have education and awareness on this topic & would not likely have the appropriate conversations with their child or children.

This why #MandatoryReporting is necessary.

All known cases of abuse especially child sexual abuse s/b reported & acted upon.

No case s be dismissed because of an opinion or bias or cultural or religious reasons.

No case should be covered up & people should be held accountable when it is known abuse has happened or suspected & it is actively covered up.

To better protect CYP and respond to CSAE differently there is a clear need for the IICSA 20 Recommendations to be implemented as a package.

1) a Minister responsible for CSAE to give it the prominence and clout it needs

2) a CPA (child protrction agency) that solely focuses on CSAE

3) Mandatory reporting that is currently out for consultation (yet again). Pls check out #MandateNow and what they propose.

4) Redress scheme is also out for consultation again.

& the other 16 recommemdations as stated in the #IICSA Final Report.

@SOB_Org
@ChrisTandBevA

https://t.co/Uw6UfdsYvr