кєℓѕιє

[Tim Miller @Timodc]

Marked for when I need a shot of joy

[кєℓѕιє @FergusonKelsie]

@eugenegu There are *absolutely

[кєℓѕιє @FergusonKelsie]

Last thing women want in social isolation is a random dick pic. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[кєℓѕιє @FergusonKelsie]

Ever drink wine out of a mug to make people think you’re drinking coffee and not an alcoholic ? Just me. oh.

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

weekends are so depressing now dude it’s like yeah let me get out of bed to go lay on the couch I guess? take a couple naps to pass time? maybe shower? fuck

[кєℓѕιє @FergusonKelsie]

It is joy that we hold lightly and victimhood that we grab onto.

[Ezra Klein @ezraklein]

"I worked very hard for it" is the worst possible justification for being a billionaire. You know who works very hard? Single mothers working two minimum wage jobs with just-in-time scheduling and a bus commute.

[кєℓѕιє @FergusonKelsie]

Me this morning

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

I just did a perfect wing on my right eye and i’m 99% sure i’m not gonna be able to match it so if you see me walking around with only one eye done mind your business

[кєℓѕιє @FergusonKelsie]

As if I needed anything else to confirm I am in fact an 80 year old woman, I’m really getting into crosswords.

[кєℓѕιє @FergusonKelsie]

Like damn Demi killed the national anthem and that’s all I care about #sorrynotsorry

[кєℓѕιє @FergusonKelsie]

Just met my favorite podcaster in person and had word vomit it’s fine. It’s fine.

[кєℓѕιє @FergusonKelsie]

Where do I find friends that want to drop all responsibilities at any minute to spontaneously travel and do cool shit?

[🔮Enlightened📿Auntie🔮 @EnlightenedAunt]

For my 20 something year old followers, stop stressing about your love life. Forgive your parents. Wait to have children. Finish your education. Love yourself the way you’ve been loving those deadbeat ass connections. Learn to live in gratitude and watch your life change.

[кєℓѕιє @FergusonKelsie]

Sorry for acting so crazy when you treated me like shit.

[кєℓѕιє @FergusonKelsie]

Getting a dog and I haven’t thought of anything else in the last 72 hours

[David Weigel @daveweigel]

Not many people know this, but Medicare-for-all is the only thing that costs money. Keeping a military presence in central Asia is actually free, thanks to a bunch of coupons the Pentagon cut out in the 70s.

[кєℓѕιє @FergusonKelsie]

“Explaining White Privilege to a Broke White Person” by @GoodMenProject
https://t.co/nN4Z84MQhr

[кєℓѕιє @FergusonKelsie]

How do I disable my amazon account while at work?