I also have nothing to live for or work towards. No plans for my life, no important life event, nothing. I have nothing. Idk the depression is just hitting me really hard today. I know no one reads these, I just need some place to vent a little bit.
Trigger warning: depression and suicide.
Even just typing this stuff makes me feel as though I'm just whining. I have thought about offing myself almost every day. Came close to actually doing it back in march, but didn't due to other sad circumstances going on in my life.
Ever since I could remember, I've always had the mindset that I was and would never be a good-looking person. I know it's not healthy, but every time I look in a mirror, I think about how ugly I am, which is why I avoid my reflection as best I can.
Why do people keep thinking I'm a bank they can just keep borrowing money from and hardly ever pay back? A friend will feed me a sob story and ask for money and say they'll pay me back, but come 5 months later and many different reminders, I finally get paid back.
Every time I've thought someone actually liked me enough to date in the past, I was always wrong. Every time. So I stopped thinking anyone liked me enough to date a long time ago.
Being single for so long (9 1/2 years) has left me with nearly no standards. The only standards I have are if they like me, and I find them attractive, which technically aren't even standards. That's literally the basics.