Samuel Clemenstein

Writer of the Filthy Easy Guide to Vocab: Volume 1
Creator of the Filthy Easy Vocab Newsletter

[Samuel Clemenstein @FilthyEasyVocab]

@nyjets Professor Albin Eberhart von Franz from Nosferatu Brought in to Give Jets Halftime Speech
https://t.co/QwyPzT7pnp

[Samuel Clemenstein @FilthyEasyVocab]

Professor Albin Eberhart von Franz from Nosferatu Brought in to Give Jets Halftime Speech https://t.co/QwyPzT7pnp

[Samuel Clemenstein @FilthyEasyVocab]

@Honestly_Jake @MLB @Dodgers @budweiserusa Stadium full of transplants from other cities and fake ass celebrities who know nothing about baseball getting hype for a billion dollar team run by a guy with AIDS

[Samuel Clemenstein @FilthyEasyVocab]

@BronWorld @MLB @Dodgers @budweiserusa Stadium full of transplants from other cities and fake ass celebrities who know nothing about baseball getting hype for a billion dollar team run by a guy with AIDS

[Samuel Clemenstein @FilthyEasyVocab]

@MLB @Dodgers @budweiserusa Stadium full of transplants from other cities and fake ass celebrities who know nothing about baseball getting hype for a billion dollar team run by a guy with AIDS

[Samuel Clemenstein @FilthyEasyVocab]

@Yankee_Hawk @TalkinBaseball_ Oh my god pathetic Yankees fan. I can’t wait until the Mets bend you over in the WS (considering you get there- highly unlikely) like we did in the season sweep this year. We lil bro’d you then and now we’re gonna BLACK you when it really counts. Low class Italian Pasta fuck!

[Samuel Clemenstein @FilthyEasyVocab]

@Muncy__ @MLB Oh my god not an ATLANTA fan pathetically trying to cope this hard 😂 bro you guys choked on a fat BBC this postseason while the hung alpha Mets just BLACKED the Phillies. Have fun being a low class southern white guy with no education and jungle fever 😂😂😂😂✌️✌️

[Samuel Clemenstein @FilthyEasyVocab]

@phlsportsguru @Phillies Have fun doing Tranq in Kensington with the other pieces of sub human Philly trash while the Alpha Mets keep marching on and FUCKING all of your girls! 😂😂🤣🤣🤣✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️

[Samuel Clemenstein @FilthyEasyVocab]

@SouthernCharmSp @Phillies Have fun drinking yourself to death in a shitty Philly bar you low class scumbag piece of shit! HAHAHAHAHA LFGM!!! ✌️✌️✌️🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Samuel Clemenstein @FilthyEasyVocab]

@EaglesBurna @Phillies Yea like that would have done anything 😂😂😂 pathetic cope the Mets are the superior team in every aspect. Get BLACKED from all angles by Uncle Steve and his team of silverback studs. The Phillies are a joke of a franchise and should be disbanded ASAP

[Samuel Clemenstein @FilthyEasyVocab]

@Tom_Flies @Phillies You said it yourself. Holy PATHETIC 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Bro you guys got BLACKED by Tancisco BLACKdor and Harper sat in a cuck chair while Grimace banged his wife ✌️✌️✌️🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Samuel Clemenstein @FilthyEasyVocab]

@RiseFallNickBck @Phillies HAHAHAHAHAH CRY HARDER. STEVE COHEN IS YOUR DADDY! BOW DOWN BABY BOW DOWN LIL BRO! pathetic franchise ✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️😂😂😂😂😂 have fun sitting on the couch while the real apex alphas play the games that really matter!

[Samuel Clemenstein @FilthyEasyVocab]

@MLB @Braves @TMobile OzUnA from the Braves 😂 you guys suck this year just admit your patheticism while Steve Cohen BLACKS you with MONEY, POWER, and SUPERIOR BASEBALL TALENT. Get Jewed

[Samuel Clemenstein @FilthyEasyVocab]

Disaffection- a state or feeling of being dissatisfied with people in authority
Ex: Were the Mets to not win a world series under Steve Cohen’s ownership, (sadly a very real possibility!) disaffection amongst the fan base would escalate to an Arab Spring of sorts in which various social media fan accounts- with names like “YaGottaBelieve6986”, “DocGooden’sFreebaseStash”, and, “SteveGelbsIsHungLikeaHorse”- would rally their most downtrodden followers to take up torches and pitchforks and to ride towards CITI Field, packed into the 7 Line train like Pica-Pica (Dominican sardines). The Mets, in some feeble last-ditch attempt to quell the inception of rebellion, would do as the Mets have always done. They would release a novel, unique food item to be sold in the ballpark, maybe a hotdog wrapped in maple bacon called the “Sugar” Edwin Diaz dog, and then they would proceed to go bargain hunting for some chintzy, washed up, journeyman veteran designated hitter whose one tool is pop, and who strikes out more than a white-tied insurance salesman on urban night. This would only act as a bellows, fanning the flames of rebellion to more stark oranges, deeper blues, a seething, blistering anger directed towards this most incompetent of franchises. As rabid swarms of fans pour out of the train and lurch toward the stadium as a single-brained, homicidal entity, a call from the loudspeakers would ring out, “Mets fans, make sure you get here nice and early for tomorrow night’s game, as the first 15,000 fans will all be receiving “homerun apple” testacuzzis! Keep your baseballs warm this offseason!” A few fans would snap out of their zombie-like trance and ask themselves, “Just what is a testacuzzi?”, but most fans would just rush towards the brick rotunda and begin laying waste to that temple of all things unholy with a barrage of stolen street sign battering rams and makeshift catapults slinging second-hand car parts from the chop shops surrounding the stadium.

[Samuel Clemenstein @FilthyEasyVocab]

Disaffection- a state or feeling of being dissatisfied with people in authority
Ex: Were the Mets to not win a world series under Steve Cohen’s ownership, (sadly a very real possibility!) disaffection amongst the fan base would escalate to an Arab Spring of sorts in which various social media fan accounts- with names like “YaGottaBelieve6986”, “DocGooden’sFreebaseStash”, and, “SteveGelbsIsHungLikeaHorse”- would rally their most downtrodden followers to take up torches and pitchforks and to ride towards CITI Field, packed into the 7 Line train like Pica-Pica (Dominican sardines). The Mets, in some feeble last-ditch attempt to quell the inception of rebellion, would do as the Mets have always done. They would release a novel, unique food item to be sold in the ballpark, maybe a hotdog wrapped in maple bacon called the “Sugar” Edwin Diaz dog, and then they would proceed to go to go bargain hunting for some chintzy, washed up, journeyman veteran designated hitter whose one tool is pop, and who strikes out more than a white-tied insurance salesman on urban night. This would only act as a bellows, fanning the flames of rebellion to more stark oranges, deeper blues, a seething, blistering anger directed towards this most incompetent of franchises. As rabid swarms of fans pour out of the train and lurch toward the stadium as a single-brained, homicidal entity, a call from the loudspeakers would ring out, “Mets fans, make sure you get here nice and early for tomorrow night’s game, as the first 15,000 fans will all be receiving “homerun apple” testacuzzis! Keep your baseballs warm this offseason!” A few fans would snap out of their zombie-like trance and ask themselves, “Just what is a testacuzzi?”, but most fans would just rush towards the brick rotunda and begin laying waste to that temple of all things unholy with a barrage of stolen street sign battering rams and makeshift catapults slinging second-hand car parts from the chop shops surrounding the stadium.

[Samuel Clemenstein @FilthyEasyVocab]

Disaffection- a state or feeling of being dissatisfied with people in authority
Ex: Were the Mets to not win a world series under Steve Cohen’s ownership, (sadly a very real possibility!) disaffection amongst the fan base would escalate to an Arab Spring of sorts in which various social media fan accounts- with names like “YaGottaBelieve6986”, “DocGooden’sFreebaseStash”, and, “SteveGelbsIsHungLikeaHorse”- would rally their most downtrodden followers to take up torches and pitchforks and to ride towards CITI Field, packed into the 7 Line train like Pica-Pica (Dominican sardines). The Mets, in some feeble last-ditch attempt to quell the inception of rebellion, would do as the Mets have always done. They would release a novel, unique food item to be sold in the ballpark, maybe a hotdog wrapped in maple bacon called the “Sugar” Edwin Diaz dog, and then they would proceed to go to go bargain hunting for some chintzy, washed up, journeyman veteran designated hitter whose one tool is pop, and who strikes out more than a white-tied insurance salesman on urban night. This would only act as a bellows, fanning the flames of rebellion to more stark oranges, deeper blues, a seething, blistering anger directed towards this most incompetent of franchises. As rabid swarms of fans pour out of the train and lurch toward the stadium as a single-brained, homicidal entity, a call from the loudspeakers would ring out, “Mets fans, make sure you get here nice and early for tomorrow night’s game, as the first 15,000 fans will all be receiving “homerun apple” testacuzzis! Keep your baseballs warm this offseason!” A few fans would snap out of their zombie-like trance and ask themselves, “Just what is a testacuzzi?”, but most fans would just rush towards the brick rotunda and begin laying waste to that temple of all things unholy with a barrage of stolen street sign battering rams and makeshift catapults slinging second-hand car parts from the chop shops surrounding the stadium.

[Samuel Clemenstein @FilthyEasyVocab]

@marknorm Wrote a book, It's funny (I think!)
https://t.co/SUbRoWsALJ

[Samuel Clemenstein @FilthyEasyVocab]

I wrote a book!
https://t.co/SUbRoWsALJ

[Samuel Clemenstein @FilthyEasyVocab]

@Dictionarycom https://t.co/Zi4MpaoCx5

[Samuel Clemenstein @FilthyEasyVocab]

Scotch- to put an end to

Ex: Aaron Rodger’s tragic slip and subsequent Achilles tear quickly scotched any Jets fans’ hopes for a Super Bowl run this year.

*Thank You by Dido starts playing*

My tea’s gone cold I’m wondering why
I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I can’t see at all
And even if I could it’d all be gray
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it’s not so bad
It’s not so bad

Dear Aaron, I drafted you, but you still not playing
We gave you your supporting cast from Green Bay, and even paid ‘em,
We sent some picks to your old squad, promised them first rounders
Up until you slipped, on that wet night, it left me floundered
There probably was a problem with the turf at MetLife or something,
But anyways, fuck it, what’s up man, how’s ayahuasca?

My girls a Jets fan too, she’s pregnant, I’m about to be a father
If my son’s a Jets fan guess what I’ma call him?
I’ma name him Aaron
I read about your Achilles too, I’m sorry
I had a Jets fan friend kill himself over the possibility of Zach Wilson starting
I know you probably hear this every day but I’m your biggest fan
I even sought out the shaman you did ayahuasca with in Japan
I got a room full of your posters and pictures, man
I like the shit you did on Hard Knocks too, that shit was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Fireman Stan

My tea’s gone cold I’m wondering why
I got out of bed at all
The morning raid clouds up my window
And I can’t see at all
And even if I could it’d all be gray
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it’s not so bad
It’s not so bad