Filthy Pensioner

After my wife died in 1998, I bought a caravan and took to the road, stopping in some of the loveliest areas I have ever seen. I wear full suits in the day.

[Filthy Pensioner @FilthyPensioner]

I've been asleep for two days. And in a bush of all things. Hello again internet I am back in my caravan and smiling it's warm :)

[Filthy Pensioner @FilthyPensioner]

I love this field. The resident horse is so silly and I can urinate in the bushes like mother nature intended. I'm a happy man :)

[Filthy Pensioner @FilthyPensioner]

My eyes :)

[Filthy Pensioner @FilthyPensioner]

I just had a nightmare about tulips. I miss the 70s. Someone hold me, I'm scared in this caravan. Twitter help me breathe easy :)

[Filthy Pensioner @FilthyPensioner]

@BaffledFarmer Hello. I'm currently living in a caravan in your field, free of charge. There is a horse here. Can I feed it spaghetti? :)

[Age UK @age_uk]

@FilthyPensioner hello - I'm afraid our Denim Pants expert is out of the office today - can you wait till after the long weekend? :)

[Filthy Pensioner @FilthyPensioner]

@age_uk Thanks for replying to my internet post. I will leave them around the ankles until Tuesday. Thank you and have a wonderful day :)

[Filthy Pensioner @FilthyPensioner]

My denim pants have fallen down and I can't bend over to correct them. @Age_UK can you assist me? I love the internet by the way :)

[Filthy Pensioner @FilthyPensioner]

I'm so old and confused. Why am I in a field with a horse? It keeps neighing and trotting sideways. It just kicked a goat, Am I dying?

[Filthy Pensioner @FilthyPensioner]

I am still so excited to be on the internet. Welcome all. Please help yourself to the parsnips outside my caravan :)

[Filthy Pensioner @FilthyPensioner]

Perfect day. Now for sleeps in my sleeping bag. Love my caravan. Message me a hello. Night everybody. Twitter :)

[Filthy Pensioner @FilthyPensioner]

Where am I. Help :)

[Filthy Pensioner @FilthyPensioner]

Mmm yummy a nice cup of warm tea in the caravan. I have had a gorgeous Thursday :)

[Filthy Pensioner @FilthyPensioner]

I am going to give away some homemade pizza bases when I reach 19 followers. Tell your parents that I'm here to stay and loving life :)

[Filthy Pensioner @FilthyPensioner]

I'd love to hear your opinion on otters :)

[Filthy Pensioner @FilthyPensioner]

This is not me http://t.co/xbm321z9k8

[Filthy Pensioner @FilthyPensioner]

How do I check my followers? I am in the nicest field and nothing is going to ruin my day. Beautiful weather and cut grass in the air :)

[Filthy Pensioner @FilthyPensioner]

I am going to give away some free catering advice when I hit 12 followers. Please tell all your friends and say hello :)

[Filthy Pensioner @FilthyPensioner]

@BaffledFarmer You're baffled.

[Filthy Pensioner @FilthyPensioner]

@BaffledFarmer I won't let you dampen my mood. I'm not moving, please secure the gates. This is my new home. Have a splendid afternoon.