FiveHeadFC

Official Twitter Account of FiveHeadFC (est.2017), a Fantasy Draft Team in the Extraordinary League of Guernseymen.

[FiveHeadFC @FiveHeadFC1]

Our win at the weekend has very much been overshadowed by the sad sad news coming out of @OnlyFans HQ.

All FHFC staff will kneel (both knees) for the kick off of GW3 in support of our favourite content creators.

[FiveHeadFC @FiveHeadFC1]

We briefly caught up with Willy’s step-mom, Pat, who is delighted for her son:

“I’m over the moon that Willy can spend the next season doing what he loves” #stuckinthewashingmachine

[FiveHeadFC @FiveHeadFC1]

BREAKING: The club’s first ever social media intern has agreed to re-take the reigns from GW3 until the remainder of the season.

Willy Butcher (16) penned a 9-month contract that will see him remunerated in the form of a premium @pornhub subscription. #beatthatmeat

[FiveHeadFC @FiveHeadFC1]

Just got off the phone with FHFC team doctor (@drdisrespect). Some positive news shared that @arobertson100 will only miss 2 or 3 weeks.

Prescription includes paracetamol, regular icing, violence, speed and momentum.

[FiveHeadFC @FiveHeadFC1]

@WilliamHill Go home, you’re drunk

[FiveHeadFC @FiveHeadFC1]

@LFCTransferRoom @LetsTalk_FPL SAKES

[FiveHeadFC @FiveHeadFC1]

@JamMad83

Hi James

Just wanted to ask if you will be on free kicks for Leicester this season?

We have little attacking threat in our draft FPL squad and so your attacking returns will be vital.

Thanks
FHFC Manager

[FiveHeadFC @FiveHeadFC1]

@KDB_MLB

Hi KDB

Just wanted to check in on your injury before the start of the season?

We have a tough fixture in the first gameweek and it is imperative we come out of the blocks explosively.

Thanks
FHFC Manager

[FiveHeadFC @FiveHeadFC1]

@arobertson100

Hi Mate

How’s the ankle? Good to see you didn’t need a stretcher

Hoping you’ll be fit for our first gameweek - big season for us.

Thanks
FHFC Manager

[FiveHeadFC @FiveHeadFC1]

@Rafferty1993 @DraftFantasy 9/10 team, 3/10 team name

[FiveHeadFC @FiveHeadFC1]

@MStevo91 @DraftLad @draftgenie @JWillDraft @TheFFChaps @tottiandor @Draft_Society Some absolute STINKERS in here - they even have a bloke playing called Grant? I’ll have 2/1 on manager replacement before January as a result of natural causes @SkyBet

[FiveHeadFC @FiveHeadFC1]

FHFC Manager outlines his 5 keys to success at squad registration this morning

1. 5 at the back
2. Mandatory shithousery
3. Goal bonus in the form of WAG roulette in the love shack
4. Heavy doping
5. Daily @TonyRobbins sessions for the front 3 who are rightly lacking confidence

[FiveHeadFC @FiveHeadFC1]

@RequestABet what are the odds on @HKane cementing his hat-trick with a diving header then doing a big chunky line off of @GarethBale11’s tits in celebration? #RequestABet #Value #TOTCRY #COYS

[FiveHeadFC @FiveHeadFC1]

IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN #TRASH

[FiveHeadFC @FiveHeadFC1]

The club’s social media representative has been suspended with immediate effect after retweeting explicit tweets from his favourite pornstars on the club’s official account.

The club apologises for any offence caused. #thankyouforthenames #aubergine

[Lela Star @LelaStarTM]

New natural boob reveal today for my subscribers only!
https://t.co/n5lDklZOJu

[Asa Akira @AsaAkira]

New video ❤️ https://t.co/qywHIJn0SV

[alexis @Alexis_Texas]

It’s Miss Texas to you ✨✨🍑 https://t.co/zmKHSSDX0F

[FiveHeadFC @FiveHeadFC1]

@DraftAnswers I think I speak for all of us in the Draft FPL community in that we hope you have a good break and re-energise yourself for what will be a busy period of polling after all of this madness. Take care of yourself and enjoy the time-off #beatthatmeat

[FiveHeadFC @FiveHeadFC1]

Management Team celebration stats:

- 3 time zones ;
- 40 litres of Goose;
- 4 STIs;
- 2 broken bones;
- 48 titties;
- 7 internal sexual harassment complaints;
- 2 positive coronavirus diagnoses; and
- 1 midget.

@OptaJoe

[FiveHeadFC @FiveHeadFC1]

We actually won a fucking gameweek. Separately, the club are attempting to fight off calls to be placed into administration following the 2-day coke-fuelled bender that occurred in celebration of ending the 10 game loss streak.