Our win at the weekend has very much been overshadowed by the sad sad news coming out of @OnlyFans HQ.
All FHFC staff will kneel (both knees) for the kick off of GW3 in support of our favourite content creators.
We briefly caught up with Willy’s step-mom, Pat, who is delighted for her son:
“I’m over the moon that Willy can spend the next season doing what he loves” #stuckinthewashingmachine
BREAKING: The club’s first ever social media intern has agreed to re-take the reigns from GW3 until the remainder of the season.
Willy Butcher (16) penned a 9-month contract that will see him remunerated in the form of a premium @pornhub subscription. #beatthatmeat
Just got off the phone with FHFC team doctor (@drdisrespect). Some positive news shared that @arobertson100 will only miss 2 or 3 weeks.
Prescription includes paracetamol, regular icing, violence, speed and momentum.
@JamMad83
Hi James
Just wanted to ask if you will be on free kicks for Leicester this season?
We have little attacking threat in our draft FPL squad and so your attacking returns will be vital.
Thanks
FHFC Manager
@KDB_MLB
Hi KDB
Just wanted to check in on your injury before the start of the season?
We have a tough fixture in the first gameweek and it is imperative we come out of the blocks explosively.
Thanks
FHFC Manager
@arobertson100
Hi Mate
How’s the ankle? Good to see you didn’t need a stretcher
Hoping you’ll be fit for our first gameweek - big season for us.
Thanks
FHFC Manager
FHFC Manager outlines his 5 keys to success at squad registration this morning
1. 5 at the back
2. Mandatory shithousery
3. Goal bonus in the form of WAG roulette in the love shack
4. Heavy doping
5. Daily @TonyRobbins sessions for the front 3 who are rightly lacking confidence
The club’s social media representative has been suspended with immediate effect after retweeting explicit tweets from his favourite pornstars on the club’s official account.
The club apologises for any offence caused. #thankyouforthenames#aubergine
@DraftAnswers I think I speak for all of us in the Draft FPL community in that we hope you have a good break and re-energise yourself for what will be a busy period of polling after all of this madness. Take care of yourself and enjoy the time-off #beatthatmeat
We actually won a fucking gameweek. Separately, the club are attempting to fight off calls to be placed into administration following the 2-day coke-fuelled bender that occurred in celebration of ending the 10 game loss streak.