AlanPartridge Quotes

Fed up with Alan Partridge accounts that have stopped tweeting? Want some of the less rude side of Partridge!? Here's the one to follow. K.M.K.Y. Ah HAAH!

[AlanPartridge Quotes @FlapjackPillow]

And presumably the statement you're trying to make, is "I'm wearing a shrub on my head"?

[AlanPartridge Quotes @FlapjackPillow]

Just put "Nice plums".

[AlanPartridge Quotes @FlapjackPillow]

"Hello, it's Alan. I've locked you all in the boardroom. We haven't got a second series..."

[AlanPartridge Quotes @FlapjackPillow]

Who left that dirty mug there?

[AlanPartridge Quotes @FlapjackPillow]

Just, a cold finger...

[AlanPartridge Quotes @FlapjackPillow]

Oh come on. It's not a big FAT mole with a tuft of wirey hair growing out of it.

[AlanPartridge Quotes @FlapjackPillow]

It just gives you that little bit of extra purchase.

[AlanPartridge Quotes @FlapjackPillow]

Mmm, very malty.

[AlanPartridge Quotes @FlapjackPillow]

- What's that, er, what's that little sink thing?
- It's a rinser.
- Yeah, get rid of it.

[AlanPartridge Quotes @FlapjackPillow]

- And your name's...
- Mary.
- Oh! Like the Virgin Mary. Are you a vir... oh it's none of my business!
- Yes I am actually.
- Oh. Well done.

[AlanPartridgeQuotes @AlanPQuotes]

Single-hand Sue there, tackling the buffet. She's like a human JCB.

[AlanPartridge Quotes @FlapjackPillow]

THANK you. *Mine* is Robin's Nest.

[kloots @m_c_f_c__]

@AlanPQuotes @FansOfPartridge @AccidentalP

[AlanPartridge Quotes @FlapjackPillow]

The Smiling Bicycle of Amsterdam

[AlanPartridge Quotes @FlapjackPillow]

Conrad Knight Socks

[AlanPartridge Quotes @FlapjackPillow]

I'm sorry that was just a noise.

[AlanPartridge Quotes @FlapjackPillow]

It's cold. It's very cold. I haven't got any shorts on. They're saying "Smelly Alan Fartridge! Smelly Alan Fartridge!" I'm not smelly!

[AlanPartridge Quotes @FlapjackPillow]

No child has cried
No tree has died
To make the product
That you have buyed.

[AlanPartridge Quotes @FlapjackPillow]

He's not a law breaker. Well, he might do 85mph on the motorway, for example, if he wants to get somewhere quickly.

[AlanPartridge Quotes @FlapjackPillow]

Jews are good.