Flopaholic

🦒

[Flopaholic @Flopalicious69]

The past is for losers and cowards

[Flopaholic @Flopalicious69]

Ran outta charcoal for the barbecue

Grill issue

[CrixCo™️ @CrixCoTM]

My card delcined at checkout

bill issue

[Flopaholic @Flopalicious69]

He would be a cubs fan loooooser

[Mayor Brandon Johnson @ChicagosMayor]

Congrats to my Cubbies for clinching their spot in the postseason for the second straight year!

And credit where it’s due, the @whitesox gave South Side fans plenty to cheer about with an incredible turnaround and a playoff berth of their own.

There’s no better place for October baseball than Chicago. Lets go @cubs.

[Flopaholic @Flopalicious69]

Why can’t this be me g

[WillieP - Director of Morale @WillieP_WSox]

Came across this yesterday 😂

[Flopaholic @Flopalicious69]

People don’t realize how blessed Chicago is to have had such prestige in the last two mayors. Brandon Johnson following Lori Lightfoot is an iconic 1, 2 punch.

[Flopaholic @Flopalicious69]

What is this? A stadium for ants?

[ESPN Cleveland @ESPNCleveland]

A fresh look at the Browns new domed stadium opening in 2029 🔥🔥🔥

(Via @FredGreetham9)

[bunny @wickedlyrain]

real ass nigga

[Breakfast in Monaco🌹 @__Wavve]

This some #realyearning goin on big dog, you wouldn’t know nothing about that

[Flopaholic @Flopalicious69]

Incredible tweet

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Chicago Cookie Lady 🍪 @TheeStonedBaker]

😭😭😭😭😭💀💀💀💀💀💀I hate how insanely accurate this is!

[Flopaholic @Flopalicious69]

Women always say they’re scared of big ones and i do a great job of terrifying the ladies… correlation? I think not.

[Flopaholic @Flopalicious69]

I think as a “sub-contractor” you should be able to tell a homeowner to fuck themselves at least once a month.

[Flopaholic @Flopalicious69]

People will tell you they’re the president of their HOA and wear it like a badge of honor.

[Flopaholic @Flopalicious69]

Responding to work emails in a beer garden (planned don’t respond to shit til EOD) is like taking a shit with a bidet you’re making the most out of something unenjoyable. #flop

[Flopaholic @Flopalicious69]

This was the tweet that told me i should probably start heading to work.

[Aidan @aidannonx]

When she says her dad likes to have a “pretty lady” on his arm when golfing, and she says she finds his friends attractive, indulges all her wants, and sends him this stuff, coupled with boomer dads being hardasses to young men, it’s obvious

Girl dads are resentful they can’t fuck their daughters. They hate young guys because they’re competition.

[Lenford “Lenny” Leonard @Leonard42]

The Essence of this meme

[Flopaholic @Flopalicious69]

I’d take her last name

[Illinois State Women’s Basketball @RedbirdWBB]

New addition in Normal🌟

[Flopaholic @Flopalicious69]

Just saw a legend on a motorcycle with a skinny lady with giant cans on the back it sucks seeing someone else living your dream but if i were to ever drive i motorcycle i don’t think id get off it alive.

[Flopaholic @Flopalicious69]

No i don’t have a banana in my pocket i have a boner and no I’m not happy to see you i was hoping to take care of this in private.

[Flopaholic @Flopalicious69]

Fuck this limp dick havin fake news spewing couldn’t handle his whiskey lookin ass backwards in east lakeview hot dog no bun ordering dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden with a hamster for a mother and a father that smelt of elderberries.

[Brian @CountryWhisky]

@BN_Bears White Sox fans are Packer fans